A LESSON WITH MALICE TOWARDS NONE
It was our wedding anniversary. My wife and I had been receiving calls wishing us well. A few years back, when I was working, there used to be an endless stream of calls and cards congratulating us and wishing us many years of happiness. I returned all the calls and replied to all the cards. Now that I am retired, we get much fewer calls and cards. It doesn't upset us at all. We knew that positions that facilitate felicitations. We still receive calls and cards. We cherish them. The reduction in numbers is compensated by the length of each call.
This year, I received an unexpected call.
It was about 2:45 in the afternoon. I had just woken up from my siesta. The call was from someone I knew. We both had retired around the same time. We had not spoken for years. He called in to wish us a great wedding anniversary. I was surprised.
“What do you do to keep yourself occupied?” he asked.
“I spend time reading and writing. I blog and vlog. I am also working on a book. Once in a while I get a corporate training assignment,” I said.
“That's very good. I have been regularly reading your blog. You take up something from everyday life and bring out profound lessons. You write really well. I am impressed. I am eagerly looking forward to your book,” he said. I loved that ego massage.
Now, it was my turn. “How do you spend time?” I asked.
“I am an entrepreneur. I make some good money. I raked in a few crores last year. I expect better results this year. Even during the pandemic we did some real good business,” he sounded very matter of fact.
I always had this feeling that people in business are always busy and short of time. He sounded very casual and relaxed. I was happy for him. The conversation culminated with both of us promising to be in touch. Like all successful businessmen, he had an urgent call to attend to.
He kept his promise.
Two weeks later he called me up. I had just reached my study after my siesta. We exchanged some pleasantries.
“You seem to be vacationing like there’s no tomorrow,” I said. I had seen, over the social media, a lot of photographs of him and his family enjoying themselves at different places.
“Actually my work requires me to travel. We took out time to enjoy ourselves. I have teams across many cities in India and few abroad. I have a team in your state also,” he said. I was very impressed.
“Jacob, do you want to get into business?” he asked.
“Knowing how honest and committed you are, I think you should be able to make some good money for yourself,” he said.
I didn't answer. I was stumped, clear and clean. It took me a little while to compose myself. I was definitely not interested. My hands were already full with activities I love. I wanted to be polite while declining the offer.
“What is the business?” I asked.
“E-commerce, like Amazon,” he replied.
I was sceptical. “Can you fill in some details?” I asked.
“That, I will tell you in due course of time,” he said.
“Wait, let me check if I can make you speak to my mentor,” he said.
He put me on hold and made a quick call to somebody. “Jacob, you are lucky. He is a very busy man. Luckily, he has a slot free the day after. He agreed to speak with you the day after at 3 o'clock. I will send you a video link tomorrow. We both can connect about 10 minutes before, chat up for sometime and he can join at three,” he said.
“Thoughtful or something else?” I wondered.
“What is the business all about? What is the name of your company?” I did not let him go.
“I am not inclined to get into any business,” I said.
“There is no compulsion Jacob. Hold your horses till the day after. After listening to my mentor, if you think you want to, we can discuss. I recommend you ask your wife also to join the call,” he replied.
“Mentor? We both held high ranks in the hierarchy. We mentored many while in service. Why do you now need a Mentor?" I asked.
“Jacob, that is where we go wrong. We all have our specific areas of competence. Everywhere else we need someone to hand hold us, at least to start with. My mentor is much younger to me. He is an alumnus of IIT and IIM. An expert in the business, he helped me set up mine. Now I am on my own running a hugely successful venture. I am making money like never before,” he said.
It seemed like a pep talk intended to shake me out of my slumber and motivate me to dive in to look for the big money bag. “Beware,” my insides screamed.
“I am not interested in doing any business. I would just like to enjoy what is left of my life without taking any more tension,” I said.
“Don't worry. You don't have to invest anything now but your competence,” he replied. "Jacob, I have a meeting scheduled. We will catch up the day after," he said. Our conversation ended abruptly.
My mind was fast at work. Something was not right. Over the cup of tea in the evening my wife and I discussed and decided to let the offer wade by.
Two days later as promised he connected. "Where is Mrs Jacob?" he asked. “She will not be joining,” I told him. Few moments later his mentor joined live.
“What is your dream in life?” he asked after the initial pleasantries.
Running fast towards 64, my bucket list was already complete. I had decided to take life one day at a time. “I am looking forward to publishing my book,” I said.
“That's great. You must be wanting to do something more in life," he prodded.
“I have got more than what I deserved and desired. We love travelling. We are doing everything we want to. We are happy with life,” I said.
“Travel abroad? You need lots of money,” he said.
“Not much. We plan, save and travel,”I replied.
“You fly business class?” he was not letting go.
Clearly, he was leading me somewhere. I decided to go along.
“I take the cheapest ticket available,” I said.
“ Why not business class?” he asked.
“No. With the money I have, I can either travel longer in economy or shorter in business class. I prefer the longer option,” I replied.
“Would you mind flying business class?” he asked.
“Who would?” I replied
“If you have sufficient money you can fly business class across the world all your life,” he said.
I sensed where we were headed to. “Who doesn't know that?” I asked.
“I was also like you. Even after passing out from IIT and IIM, my wife and I were mere employees and had to think twice before spending. Now we make so much money we don't have to think how to spend it. We have made enough that we can travel anywhere we want whenever we want. Now my business is making money on its own. I don't have to work. My wife and I get a lot of time together,” he said, trying to draw me into that world of abundance, opulence and free time.
“That is indeed great and I am very happy for you. I am already doing all that without the kind of money you are talking about. My wife and I get to spend the whole day together happily talking to each other. We share the daily chores together. I don't need the kind of money you have to be happy. To be honest, the money I have is more than enough for me. I don't think money can help me be happy,” I said.
“What about your medical expenses? You are getting old and as time goes by you will need more money for your health related issues,” he said.
I could not help but laugh out loud. “I am very clear about it. I have already told my wife and children what to do when I am sick and cannot control what is being done to me. I have told them that I do not want to prolong life without dignity. I have also told them what to do with my body. I have insurance that should cover me for all normal sicknesses. I am not hanging on for nothing,” I said.
“You mean to say you have already attained Zen state?” he asked.
I did not know whether it was a taunt or he actually meant it. “I think so,” I replied.
“I possibly cannot help you,” he said.
“I didn't seek help to be happy,” I replied.
Clearly, the conversation did not go well. He went out of the call with a curt goodbye. My former colleague also disconnected with a quick goodbye. I have never heard from them thereafter.
Recently, my wife and I were travelling with my colleague. In the course of our conversation he told us of a similar experience. The conversation he had, followed the same pattern. In fact he went a little further in the process but stopped just short of investing a sizable chunk of his life savings. Many people fall for the sweet talk, the dreams of unlimited flow of money and the good things that come with it and about how one can make millions through the ‘get quick rich fast’ schemes. It's not small amounts that they end up losing. Some of them end up losing their entire savings. Sad but true, those luring us with calls are mostly people whom we know or trust. Most of those calling up are themselves trapped into the web of deceit and greed. They might have been ignorant, naïve or greedy to get into it but they are simply cunning and heartless to get someone known into the quicksand they got into.
Escape comes from having the ability to distinguish between ‘need’, ‘want’ and ‘greed’.
In Malayalam it is referred to as ‘atyavasyam’, ‘avasyam’ and ‘anavasyam’. ‘Atyavasyam’ or the unavoidable (inescapable requirements) are our needs or necessities. Without these, life can be miserable. Food, shelter, clothing, education, medical care, insurance, transport and such like things fall in the category of needs. One must have money for acquiring these.
‘Wants’ or ‘avasyam’ make life more comfortable. Better quality of food, good house in an upscale locality, adequate clothing, access to good education and medical care, the quality of things that one possess etc fall in the category of wants. Better or higher the platform, the more comfortable life becomes. One needs more money for it. Unfortunately there is no end to betterment. The problem is about defining one’s needs and determining the limits of wants. The envelope is infinitely stretchable and the boundary between ‘want’ and greed is invisible. One may not realise when one has left the decent boundaries of want and has strayed into the layer of greed. Many who fall prey to scamsters and their ways are the ones who have recently strayed into the layer of greed.
Happiness is the ability to be satisfied. Wisdom is knowing where to draw boundaries.
Looking back, I might have lost many crores but I surely preserved a few lakhs. I am happy about that loss.
