Operands and Operators in Our Life

 

Can mathematics help us understand Life? Yes.

Let me tell you how it works. 

Assumptions and Facts

“Why should I learn all these formulae if I can make do with addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division?  What is the use of algebraic equations?” I asked myself after a challenging quadratic equation class in school. It was a natural response from a student not so bright in mathematics. 

Learning mathematics was like walking into a minefield without knowing where one was headed and why. With every passing day, the lessons got more brutal. I think we started linear equations in the 9^th or 10^th standard, and with it, my association with the omnipresent yet ever-elusive ‘x’. Initially, we got equations with a single ‘x.’ We graduated to creating equations with one or more ‘x’ from a given problem statement. Interestingly, all the statements of problems revolved around silly situations in life. At times, we were determining someone’s age, height, weight, or the number of toffees Ram, Shyam or Geeta got. ‘X’ was universally the unknown! The only weapon that could handle any equation was ‘BODMAS.’ BODMAS demanded ruthless application. 

A few days after we first met ‘x’ and got used to handling uncertainties around it, our teacher introduced ‘y’ to us. “You need two equations to solve a problem with two variables,” he declared, suppressing his smile. Soon, we faithfully formulated equations from long narratives only to determine the values of the ‘x’ and ‘y’ we created.  A few days later, he declared that solving equations with three or more variables was complex and therefore beyond the scope of the class. It was a huge relief. It did not last long. He came up with “ax²+bx+c = 0”, an equation whose answers he called “roots.”  

“Roots can be real or imaginary,” he said.

“Imaginary solutions?” I asked myself.

I passed my certificate examinations with a lot of hard work and luck. Emboldened, I took chemistry, physics, and mathematics for graduation. There was no day without mathematics. While learning the art of solving problems, I internalised the phrase “roots of the problem” and realised even imaginary solutions worked. I also found that principles of mathematics apply to life equally well. Here are some for you.

Problems Always Come with Solutions. All issues, including complex ones, come with solutions. They will remain problems unless we solve them. Postponing is not solving. Unsolved issues worsen with time. Problems may look daunting, but they can be solved if our attempts are earnest. If solutions are not forthcoming, it only means we are not approaching the problem correctly.

More  Variables or Higher Degrees Make the Equation More Complex. When the issue involves more than two individuals, proposed solutions must satisfy all. The more people involved, the more complex and intertwined the problem would be, and the more difficult finding a solution acceptable to all. With time everyone hardens their stand and makes solutions that much harder to find. Therefore, as soon as the problem is felt, attempt to address it.

There is At Least One Root for A Problem. Problems stem from their roots, real or imaginary. The real ones are easy to identify and implement. It takes patience and commitment to identify imagined or perceived causes and find their solutions. Unless one gets to the roots of the problem, the solution cannot be final. Festering problems make life hell-like.

Solutions, Both Real and Imaginary, Work. Life does not provide options without costs. Solutions to the problems in life translate less to material things and more to the realm of emotions (feel good). Material demands are symptoms of something else underlying. Emotions are intangible but real and will manifest in real actions and reactions. So, it is ‘real’ to feel good or bad in situations. It is also good to know that the feeling is fleeting and depends on how well we have conditioned our minds to it. Like us, others also have emotions.

Formulation Is the Key. How fast we reach solutions depends on how well we formulate the problem.  To do so, we need to consider all the operands and operators involved in the problem. Some of them might be hidden from our view. It is important to remember that the correct formulation of a problem depends a lot on flawlessly identifying the constituent operands and operators from life’s narrative, often overwhelmed with chaff. 

Operands Are Not as Formidable as They Seem.  

In mathematical equations, they come in the form of ‘ax² or ‘ax²bycx³,’ etc. In real life, they are individuals: parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbours and even the strangers we come across anywhere. It could even be animals or natural phenomena like breeze, storm, rain etc.  

 

Irrespective of its absolute value, operands mean nothing individually. They matter only when placed in context. Operands need operators to be relevant or be counted in context. 

 

People are like operands, in absolute terms, non-entities, irrespective of their past or present. Put into context, they could be of consequence.  

 

Let me illustrate it. Someone, say a great, rich man, living on a distant continent, is an operand of no consequence to you. If he messages you that he got your account number, he could be of great relevance to you. A storm in the Arctic Sea means nothing to you until you know that your dear one is out in the very same area catching crabs!

Deadly Operators. 

 

Operators, {‘+,’ ‘-,’ ‘x,’ ‘/,’ or ‘()’} look harmless. Not all operators are visible. They remain invisible, holding operands together. Therefore, “abc” is the product of “a, b, and c” and not its sum (a+b+c). Ignoring invisible operators invites peril. 

Individual attributes like attitude, apprehension, anxiety, self-confidence, empathy, selflessness, selfishness, expectations associated with the specific transaction, earlier experiences, trust, jealousy, competitive spirit, motivation, and many other individual traits, as these are the operators that dictate how individuals come across as operands. 

 

Operators are deadly if not treated according to protocol. Mishandled, they can create havoc. Similarly, personal traits of the self and those we deal with play a significant role in interpersonal throughput and takeaways. Operands, despite their looks, exist at the mercy of operators. Operators without operands are dead entities. 

The Beauty of Brackets. 

 

‘Brackets’ in equations are like baskets, innocuous looking but carrying a lot of stuff inside. To finally solve an equation, dealing with each of its contents individually is inevitable. An error anywhere dooms all the efforts before and after.

 

In life, collectives like family, spouses, organisations driven by political or religious ideology, etc, are like brackets. Some elements within may appear to be welcoming, supportive or even benevolent, but the true nature of the collective may or may not be so.

 

Within groups, we can also find ‘tag-alongs.’ It is easy to identify them. They lack intellectual and emotional autonomy. They turn antagonistic because someone in the group has an axe to grind with you, and they like you because the group does. They add weight and number to a group. Positively, they add little, but on the negative side, they count cumulatively. 

 

It is important to find the controlling operator for each operand within the bracket and then deal with it accordingly. This must be at the back of our minds when we deal with collectives. The success of dealing with brackets in life depends on our ability to correctly identify or determine whether the person is truly positive or negative.  

Treatment Protocol.  

 

While a ‘+’ sign is often limited to being incremental, the ‘-’ sign is dangerous and can be disastrous if not correctly managed.  Similarly, dealing with people driven by negativity needs care and diligence. “Without mens rea there can be no actus reus; guilty mind first and guilty act later.” (Chacko, Jacob Tharakan. The Second Bullet). 

 

Adversaries and critics are not necessarily negative but the selfish, untrustworthy, scheming, elusive, habitual liars and such like people are. Beware of those whose words and deeds do not match.

 

There is another class even more dangerous. They may come across as suave, nice, polished and seemingly helpful, but could be bleeding you dry on the sly, knowing well that you have been taken in by their facade. They are like cloaked daggers behind the back. Their education, wealth, job, and social standing cloak the venom hidden within. Befriending them is akin to placing a leech on our inner thigh.

 

Those who feed on us as a right are also dangerous. They are operands with embedded ‘-’ or ‘/’ signs. They deplete our efforts and, through their sheer presence, make us feel inadequate. 

 

Dealing with ‘negatives’ incrementally does not help. Bringing in positives, however large or huge, to offset them may help marginally, providing only degraded or depleted returns, much like adding a positive number to a negative number.  Multiplication of a negative number with anything positive, however big it may be, will yield only negativity.

 

Multiplying a negative entity, big or small, even with (-)1, makes it positive. In life situations that can be achieved by confronting, or isolating them, effectively insulating ourselves from them and their devious ways, making them insignificant to our desired outcomes. Ignore them at our peril. 

 

It is important to understand that most of our daily interactions with people go by understanding rather than a covenant. Relationships like spouses, parents, children, friends, etc, fall into this category. Inherent to all such equations are expectations often undeclared. Expectations become demands, and beneficiaries take benefactors for granted. The emotional wear and tear would continue until the benefactor revolts.

 

At the workplace, though we may function under hierarchical prescription, most interpersonal transactions fall in the realm of ‘unsaid’ understanding. 

 

All human relationships at the base level are interpersonal though transactions may be physical, emotional, or even subliminal. One will end up being the perpetual giver and the other the perpetual recipient, though the recipient also might lay claim to be the giver. 

 

If anyone feels aggrieved in an interpersonal transaction in any manner the effective operator linking the two operands is negative. If there is a case of exploitation and the person exploited does not realise it, the negative sign remains embedded but will reveal itself sometime, depending on how soon the exploited realises it.

 

The best way to handle relationships is to be frank, open, and truthful to the extend one should. In the long run, people will naturally associate us with positive operator.

 

14.         The Second but The Most Important Part of Life’s Equation. 

 

All equations have two equal sides. Only then it is called an equation. A mathematical equation could be equated to zero (5x+7x-12= 0, a zero-sum process), or have a positive outcome (5x+7x-12=24) or negative outcome (5x+7x -12= - 24.)  Life is also like that. Most of us forget that a life led ordinary ends up a zero-sum process. Many, after all that they do, end up with a negative return. Positive outcomes? We have to strive hard. 

 

If you noticed, we talked more about others being operands and operators! We took it for granted that we are constantly positive. Unfortunately, that is not true. To many around us we may not come across as positive as we think we are. They may be wrong but not always and not in all cases. It pays dividends to take a deep look at the operator we carry with us.

 

15.         Incubation Does not Always Breed Well. Looking at a problem for long does not solve it. It is procrastination. In mathematics, the equation does not change. But in life, procrastination worsens the problem, festering even simple linear equations into polynomials of higher degrees. With each passing day, the equation tends to add more variables and complexity. It is better to address problems as soon as we notice them. “A stitch in time saves nine,” may be our life too. 

 

 

 

THE OTHER SIDE OF LOOKING THE OTHER WAY

 

Look the other way, is an idiom unlike any other. It does not catch much attention but easily hurts. Looking the other way allows immoral or illegal acts but its benign version, which could mean many more things like, avoid, ignore, desert, abandon, let down etc, could be immensely painful to those looked away from. The literal meaning of looking the other way is straightforward as the words suggest; looking in the opposite direction. Our roads play host to both literal and literary versions of it. 

Pedestrians across the world have the right of way. In many countries, pedestrians can cross the road, only at the zebra lines. If the light is not in their favour they wait or push the pedestrian button to allow them to cross. If pedestrians push the pedestrian button, they get the green to cross and the light goes red for motorists. People crossing like that wave at the motorists signalling gratitude.

Pedestrians at home are more empowered. They cross roads and motorways at will. They do not have to signal gratitude because they can remotely apply the brakes in our cars with their palms. Some jump over the railing erected to prevent random crossings. The more steel-willed and philanthropic ones go a few steps beyond. They alter or manipulate the railings or barriers to allow unhindered rights for everyone to cross. If you notice pedestrians crossing the roads here, you will find many crossing the road looking the other way. Having outsourced their safety to the goodness of the unknown motorists, they deliberately do not make eye contact. They just look the other way. Risks of tail bang notwithstanding, a few drivers screech to stop while most continue because they are skilled enough to evade the moving two-legged obstacle or too lazy to apply the brakes. The unmindful hero gets to live another day to look the other way because the drivers chose not to look the other way. 

Looking the other way is rarely that detached and removed. There is a painful side to it, especially if it happens in relationships. All of us would have experienced it sometime in life. Irrespective of the pain inflicted, the incident often leaves us baffled with the question, “How could he?” or “How could she?” One only needs to recall the incident to realise how it felt then. At times even time cannot lessen the trauma and its aftermath. There would be nobody in this world who would not have experienced this feeling. 

There is a flip side too. If you feel, you have been at the receiving end of this traumatic experience from someone else, there would be people around you who would have received similar treatment from you. It is so common and sometimes so subtle we may not even realise we have inflicted injuries worse than the worst we suffered.

There is good news. The damage in such cases is self-inflicted and therefore treatable. Cannot believe it? That is because you are not looking at the other side of their looking the other way.  Such experiences arise when people do not react or perform the way we expect them to. The more one expects, the higher the chance of shortfall and the more bitter our experience. This discussion of expectation and response is not related to setting work-related targets and their delivery but to human behaviour in social and interpersonal transactions.

It may do us good if we truthfully ponder over the latest heartbreak we experienced. In most cases, we likely assumed that the person would deliver what we expected, without telling the person what we expected. What about those instances when we tell people what we expect from them? We often expect without consideration of their competencies, compulsions, or circumstances. The converse is also equally true.   

We may be at a loss to explain why someone suddenly felt offended by us. Check!  We would not have known what they expected from us and in the absence of such knowledge, we might not have lived up to their expectations. In most cases, they would not have even demanded something from us but merely expected us to respond as they desired. The intensity of the let-down is immense when the relationship is intimate because we take it for granted the other person knows us well enough to rise and respond.

Sometimes, poor, inadequate and even adverse response is deliberate and malafide. Such numbers, unfortunately, are on the rise. One should be wise enough to differentiate between the intentional and the inadvertent. When people take our goodness in relationships for granted, we should sever and cut losses. A heartache for a short while is far better than feeling used and abused in toxic relationships. It may be kindness, to ask them for reasons. The heinous of the lot will deny even the existence of such an act. It is better to keep them at the farthest possible distance. Sometimes, we need to keep them around regardless of their response. After all, roses don't come without thorns.  

Now that we know, there is another side to someone looking the other way, it could open new avenues to renewing our relationships. 

Let me add a caveat. Tread with caution!

 

MAYDAY, MAYDAY - ENTITLEMENT AND OBLIGATION

“Workers of the world Unite! You have nothing to lose, but your chains!” The call remains the most reverberating takeaway from the communist manifesto of 1848. It inspired and continues to inspire millions across the world, in far more different ways than it was first intended to. “May Day” presents the best opportunity to evaluate where the slogan has taken us.  

I grew up hearing the musical version of the slogan, penned by the famous poet and lyricist Vaylar Rama Varma for the Malayalam hit film, Thulabharam. “Nashta peduvan vilangukal, kittanullathu puthiyoru lokam” (Nothing but the chains to lose, and to gain, a new world). The song played a significant role in irrevocably changing Kerala's socio-economic and political landscape. Almost all political meetings and processions, especially the left-leaning ones, played this song. There was a sense of romanticism attached to the movement. Many educated and influential people adopted communism and it took deep roots in Kerala. Overnight, tenants became owners without having moved even a little finger and many a landowner found their assets seized by the government and given to those who tilled the land till the day before. Social reengineering was quick at work! Those at the bottom rungs of the socio-economic ladder assumed a sense of entitlement. Anybody with land and property became the class enemy. It seemed they all had become rich at the cost of the poor. The society suddenly appeared to turn benign and undo wrongs committed over centuries. It benefitted many and for those who lost, nobody cared.  

My cousins and I grew up in a well-off household. Empathising with the underdog was romantic. Naive, insensitive, and ignorant of the significant loss of land suffered by the family, we walked around the house playing “jatha” (procession) holding banana leaves in place of flags, shouting slogans and singing Vaylar’s song. Looking back, I admire the generosity and tolerance of those who let us be, despite their painful losses.  

Things soon started to change. Collective bargaining, a tool that ensured just wages and prevented exploitation became a potent weapon for reverse coercion and exploitation. Employers found themselves at the mercy of employees. Employees organised themselves into trade unions and sought entitlements, often unbelievably impractical and sure to kill the establishment. Trade unions vied with each other to milk the last possible penny from the ‘class’ enemy. Investors and employers were no match to the might of the collective with mindless demands. Cashew and coir once the biggest employment avenues of the state withered. Industrial production dwindled. Fields that once reverberated with folk songs fell silent. Agriculture became unprofitable and unsustainable. It just withered. My father sold all his paddy fields and coconut farms. He continued cultivating tapioca but that too, he stopped because he got fed up with suffering losses. I grew up and happened to read George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” once again. This time I had a different understanding of the book and my society.  

Soon, jobs dwindled, domestic opportunities dried up and people started migrating for work. Luck favoured Keralites. Successive governments had focussed on education. Keralites had become literate. Nowadays, literacy is not even distantly related to rationality or education. When job opportunities were drying up at home, the Gulf boomed. It was a trickle in the beginning, then it became a torrent. The educated, the semi-educated, the literate and illiterate, skilled and unskilled, alike found jobs in the Gulf. People migrated for work in thousands. Remittance initially in drops, soon became a torrent.  

The lack of job opportunities did not initially worry people. There was money to make in the Gulf. Any job there was acceptable. Although remunerations started depleting people did not mind it because when it reached home, money multiplied as the rupee depreciated. The landscape soon changed. Construction boomed, and consumerism driven by inflows flourished.  The state now depends heavily on the neighbouring states for food and the East and Nort-East for labour. Unions still have their ways of making a killing. Gawking fees remain the norm despite denials. Kerala is now a confirmed consumer society. 

Now, jobs are hard to come by and youngsters are leaving the state for good. Every junction in the state has huge advertisements by various agencies promising different ways to get out of the state and country for good. Most of them, take loans mortgaging the only property to get out hoping to strike it rich. Many with good jobs and steady incomes also leave the country. Most end up at the bottom of society in an unfamiliar destination, all by choice. Sadly, ego does not allow them to return. Even if they want to, there is nothing worthwhile to return. 

In evolved societies, the public at large is aware of individual entitlements. It helps them demand their dues from the government and service providers. The public holds legislators to account. Back home, free ration, unemployment wages, and free medical care have made laziness lucrative. Everyone is vying to get what they feel they are entitled to.

Obligation is the other side of entitlement. When the sense of entitlement is not accompanied by a matching sense of obligation, problems will creep up. It applies to organised societies, organisations big or small, families and even interpersonal relationships. Look around. We can find fault lines within organisations, families and relationships. 

Most organisational problems can be pinned to imbalances between entitlements and obligations. Some people are seen to enjoy entitlements without matching obligations while some are more obligated than entitled. Trade unions and vested interests find space to exploit the afflicted and the organisational hierarchy. It is the same in relationships. In the initial phase, the partner who feels less entitled and more obligated may overlook the disparity and even suffer silently for some time. In the long run, it is bound to create strains that can seriously and adversely affect the quality of the relationship. The silence of the afflicted party worsens the fault line and leads first to dysfunctional and eventually broken relations.

Entitlement-obligation imbalances, over time, become exploitative. Respect for established societal norms vanishes, first behind the curtains and then openly. Might, individual or collective, reigns. Law and order problems increase, and so do corruption and coercion. In interpersonal relations, unmatched entitlement -obligations lead to diminishing respect, slowly leading to emotional and physical abuse. When entitlement without obligation is the norm, society will experience anarchy, organisations will be short-lived and interpersonal relationships doomed. 

Mayday, Mayday! 

 

Qualifications or “Callification,” Selection and Retention Criterion

 

Endless Efforts

 

“Callification?” Your efforts to find out what it means in the dictionary shall go in vain. I just made it up.  Patiently read through it; you will know what it means.   

The three submersible pumps working continuously and in tandem could not fill the colony’s overhead tank. The employees kept the pump running. One pump ran dry far too long and burned itself out. The open well also ran dry. They told no one. Why should they? They had nothing to lose. I noticed the unusual activity and enquired. This had been going on for a few days. It should not have. 

I did a quick calculation of the flow rates of the pumps, the capacity of the community tank, and the tanks over the individual houses. Considering the endless efforts of the pumps, all the overhead tanks should have been filled and overflowing. It did not happen. I concluded that there must be a leak somewhere in the pipeline. The large amount of water that leaked out must have gone under the foundation of somebody's house. People seemed to be oblivious to the potential losses and damage. 

Stimulus 

“Let us check the pipeline to identify and plug the leak,” I suggested. “You have no qualifications to decide what is wrong with the water distribution system,” came the only response in the group. I was not surprised. I did not expect anything different from that individual. Did the crass response stem from deep-rooted prejudice germinated in ignorance? 

Ignorance? The individual had never bothered to ask me about my qualifications or experience. He could not have known about my academic or professional qualifications.  I did not have to revisit the lessons in fluid mechanics or applied engineering or fall back on my experiences in managing the civic amenities of one of the biggest cantonments to understand the elementary science problem. I also did not have to rack my brain to remember my lessons in missile technology. After all, determining why an overhead tank refuses to fill up is no rocket science.  

Prejudice? Prejudice is a platform internally constructed by an individual using preconceived notions about individuals, groups, or even things. The result of a “taught” or “thought” concept, it invariably becomes a subconscious driver. It influences, often negatively, everything an individual thinks, says, or does. We all carry prejudices of some sort and tend to use broad-brushed templates in our thoughts, and actions. Some amongst us make it obvious and take it to obnoxious levels. Prejudice is the result of our inability or unwillingness to reason out within ourselves. If we sit down and dispassionately analyse our conversations and the decisions we have taken over time, we should be able to spot the prejudices underpinning them. 

Many believe that the job of the Army is to only guard the country’s borders. They think that everybody in the army stands in rows along the borders preventing people from crossing over. Some feel the Army is all about marching and doing physical exercises in the morning to prepare themselves for a duel at the border and doing sentry duty. They ask, “What does the army do when there is no war?” They cannot fathom the extent to which officers of the Indian Army toil on various contemporary academic and professional subjects. Their mobility up the hierarchy ladder is largely linked to their performance in these tests. Unfortunately, such injurious ignorance is prevalent even amongst the “supposed to be” well-read.  

Response 

I was angry and instinctively wanted to respond in the same coin.  The wisdom that age, exposure, experiences, and knowledge bestowed on me forbade me from stooping down. I decided to deny traction to the foul mouth. His response, however, triggered a much deeper thought. I am, by nature, given to analyse the ‘why and how’ behind every ‘what’ I see or experience. Why did he say that? Nobody does anything once. There is always a pattern and they leave a trail. He did. 

Besides his prejudice, which I was aware of, there must be an underlying belief that prompted the response. In possession of a professional degree, he had given himself to the belief that formal qualifications define an individual’s competence and his place in society. It showed in his generally loud and contemptuous behaviour. Unfortunately, there are many like him, enslaved by similar beliefs. This misplaced belief has forced people to obtain fancy qualifications by whatever possible means. It is common knowledge that people adopt illegal means to secure academic degrees. Some go to the extent of even buying doctorate degrees. Esteem somehow seems tagged to the few letters that find a place after an individual’s name. Do formal qualifications denote competence?   

Understanding “Callification” 

The discussion does not in any manner advocate the thought that an educational degree is a waste of time. One needs to have the basic requisite educational qualification. Mere possession of the qualification, however, is no guarantee of the presence of expected skills or the aptitude to apply the acquired knowledge. If an educational degree defines comparable competence, two equally qualified professionals like chefs, doctors, economists, fashion designers, lawyers, or musicians, should all demonstrate comparable performance. This is not the case. 

Everyone gets the initial foothold into a profession using the few letters representing a mandated educational degree. It may also be the inescapable requisite for career progression. Degrees merely indicate that the person has cleared a qualifying examination, by whatever means. The marks obtained by the person do not in any manner indicate his proficiency. It merely shows how well he fared in recalling answers to the questions, which in turn was anyway a matter of probability. This gives the individual the required ‘qualification’ to secure entry to an organisation or a job. Once an entry has been obtained, they need to perform in the role assigned. In performance, the difference between grain and chaff lies in “callification.” Without callification, however, smart one may be, one cannot make lasting Impressions in the field one has chosen. 

“Callification,” is the calling from within. If a person has a calling from within to be in a profession, then the quality of the work, he or she gives the organisation and the impact the person makes easily stand out from the rest. They are normally so self-motivated that they only need to be told the end state, not the how. Team leaders can easily distinguish between those driven by qualification and fired by “callification.” 

Selection Criterion 

Recruitment is now mostly an outsourced activity. Recruiters and head hunters are guided by the selection criteria template provided by the client. They look only at the qualification and track record of the prospective resource because they have no means to determine the callification.  Team leaders at all levels would love to have those fired by “callification” because it makes achieving goals easy. Many “callified” people are considered mavericks and leaders unsure of themselves may be loath to have them around. 

One of the common responses I get to most of my articles is, “What is the remedy?” There is no panacea for HR problems. It must be tailored to suit each situation. I cannot help HR professionals or those involved in making policies on selection, career progression, attrition,
and retention, by prescribing any means to determine if someone has the “callification” that they are looking for. I certainly know of a CEO who goes to great lengths to look for it.  

The CEO 

The qualification required to get on to the organisational roll is just an engineering degree. The degree guarantees the prospective candidate only an opportunity to sit for an examination conducted by the firm.  The exam unlike entrance processes adopted by many other firms focuses mostly on the application of knowledge that the qualification was supposed to have provided the candidate with. It also evaluates the ingenuity and adaptability of the candidate. 

Once a candidate gets through the written gateway, he or she faces an interview. According to the CEO, they look for the “spark” in the candidate. Talking to the CEO, I understand that the candidate reveals the presence or absence of the “spark” they are looking for within the first five minutes of the interview. The candidates call it the “desire to do something special” and I now call it “callification.” The candidate’s lack of communication skills does not become a barrier in this determination process.  It is a vibe, a feel that the candidate sends across and one that can easily be picked up by the discerning. The firm attributes the almost 100% retention of the resources to that spark or callification. The firm has been growing, in size and business. 

With no malice to recruiting agencies and professional head hunters, third-party recruitment may always ensure qualified resources, not “callified” ones.  Organisations staffed by “callified” people can make even deserts bloom.

A Table Full of Dishes ; Sanu Ki?

 Ubiquitous Affliction

“Sanu ki,” a usage in Punjabi, is both a phrase and an idiom. “Sanu” translates to “us” and “ki” means “what.” Together, it merely means “to us, what” or in other words “why bother?” Simply put it means “I don't care.” That is where it stops being a phrase. Depending upon the context, “sanu ki?” assumes many a meaning. Commencing from being a plain expression indicating disassociation, it can mean anything like irrelevance, irreverence, scorn, and at times the sublime state of acceptance of the inevitable. One needs to spend time with people who speak Punjabi to capture the essence of the “sanu ki” served. It can mean anything depending on how, when, and where it has been said and to whom it has been delivered.  The difference in tone can change the associated meaning. The versatility of this phrase or idiom is what caught my attention.

In Malayalam, my mother tongue, there are different versions of ‘sanu ki?” Starting from “namukku enthiru de? to “nammaku entho venam?” words, tones, etc continue to change as we travel up north, from the southern tip of Kerala.  I am sure there would be something equivalent in all languages and different versions, within the same language, depending on the local dialect. Irrespective of the language, or its local dialect they all essentially mean the same, “sanu ki?”

Harmless as it may sound, it can pack a deadly punch when it becomes an attitude. Some, having got away with it for some time, become “cordycyeped[i]” by this attitude. Irrespective of the size of the organisation or its field of operations, if even one member of the team becomes infected, then it is likely to spread to other members sooner than later, spelling disaster for the organisation.

Disaster Everyone Shut Their Eyes To

Established in 1985, Enron became a multi-billion-dollar behemoth. Everybody was sure about its future, or everybody thought so till it declared bankruptcy. The company was packed with talents. They were masters of the ruthless pursuit of profits. There was nothing stopping them anywhere and in whatever they attempted to do. Yet, Enron fell and when it fell, it fell like a pack of cards because something that talents could not prevent pulled it down from the inside.

Postmortem dissection revealed that a few at the top had lied deliberately and some around them colluded while the many other equally talented kept quiet about it. They all individually were afflicted with “sanu ki.” More than the greed of a powerful few at the top, the fall was ensured by the silence of many who could stop it but chose to abdicate. It is said that it is not the violence of the few that kills a society but the silence of the many. 

Cost of Collusion

Most of us find it difficult to speak up even when we know that the path or the decision being taken by the organisation, we are part of, is wrong. We could be worried that by speaking up we could be seen as anti-establishment, end up damaging hierarchical relationships, and spoil our chances within the organisation. Under such circumstances “sanu ki” is the path most of us normally choose. “Sanu ki” killed Enron. Dissection of organisational failures across the world would reveal that “sannu ki” was the ailment that finally killed all of them. If we look around, we can see many people within our families, organisations, and societies remorselessly abdicating their responsibility, to tell the truth. If we muster the courage to look within, we can see many instances where we too have abdicated. We can go to any extent to be seen to be nice without realising that if “sanu ki” can decimate organisations and societies it can destroy us too. The sad part of it, we actively collude with others either for favour or out of fear.

It is easy to compliment someone successful. It is easier to ignore a flaw and let it pass by when it does not impact us adversely. There are many who even at the cost of discomfort keep quiet when they see things go wrong. Most of us desist from giving the correct picture or feedback to those whom we know for fear of offending or spoiling the existing relationships. Anyone who musters the courage and gives suggestions that are contrary to what we believe in is considered offensive and even inimical. Most of us avoid such people.

On the receiving side when things have gone irredeemably beyond, the very same people who chose to be nice through silence would be the first ones to come forward with an “I told you so,” or an “I knew it.” We are conditioned to be nice to the extent of allowing our near and dear ones to fail. Luckily for this world, not everybody believes in sannu ki. Some do bite the bullet.

Bite The Bullet

Recently, on my social media page, I posted a picture of a few dishes laid out on a dining table. Many of my friends liked it and some even posted comments.

One message bucked the trend. "What do I make out of this Picture? What is it all about?" came the private message from my friend in Canada. What is so difficult in understanding a picture?" I thought. many had already seen, put their likes, and even commented. That was my instant response. I did not feel good at all. I tried to justify my act and refrained from giving any weight to his argument.

I had been blunt all my life. I had fallen foul with many for rightfully telling them what I thought was wrong with them or in what they did. Few well-wishers advised diplomacy. I tried but like all half-hearted attempts, it failed. I knew that many in the hierarchy avoided me because of my reputation. Interestingly, I was handpicked by two Director Generals only because of this reputation. I also rose in the hierarchy. I continued to be what I was. If I had chosen to be blunt then, I must give that right to others, now and always too.

After the initial discomfiture, I looked at the picture. He was correct.  Without context, the picture looked meaningless. If you want to understand how awful it was, just try switching on any Indian movie song sequence, preferably one that you have never seen before, switch off the audio, and try watching. I felt the same about the picture I shared without annotation. Most people who liked and commented on the picture must have given it their own context. Were they being kind or were they merely exercising their option of “sanu ki?” Either way, I was happy with all of them.

The Chinese Dinner My Daughter's
Mother-in-law so painstakingly
prepared for us 

On the other hand, here was a man who took time out very early in the morning, risking the friendly relationship we had forged over time, to tell me that I had fallen short. I knew it was straight from the heart and with the sole intent of correcting me regardless of what I felt. I immediately sent him a message of gratitude and made corrections to what I had done. I checked my previous posts. Most of them were without any reference to context, just like the movie song sequence that had no audio to accompany. They all had many likes and comments too. All my incomplete posts seem to have met with people who exercised their choice of  “sanu ki?” 

Today, people find it difficult to point out mistakes. Parents find it difficult to advise or correct even their own children for fear of repercussions. Imagine the damage we are inflicting on ourselves. We forget that “sanu ki” returns to bite.

Human Beings and Human Doings

Recently, a friend gave a talk about “human beings and human doings.” The content of the lecture is her intellectual property. The title set me thinking. I am convinced that it was ‘human doings’ that helped us evolve into human beings and it is in these very ‘doings’ that we, as a society or species, will either flourish or flounder. ‘Sanu ki’ goes against the grain of collective survival.

“To err is human,” didn't someone say? 

"To correct is even more human," I feel.

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[i] ‘Cordycyeped’ is a concept that I had discussed in my previous blog published on Jun 15, 2022. The link to it is given here.   

https://jacobshorizon.blogspot.com/2022/06/beware-you-could-be-cordyceped.html

You Too Can Prove Shakespeare Wrong

    

 

“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The Evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones 

So let it be with Caesar.”

 

These lines came to me just out of the blue and with it, the name of Mr JS Iyer, one of my teachers. 

Act 3, Scene 2 of the Shakespearean play, Julius Caesar reverberates on stages the world over as the play itself or as part of elocution competitions in many schools and colleges. These lines did not mean anything to me beyond the next examination, those days. Strange, these lines had to come up while I was sitting in my study taking stock of life. I had just published my second book, "Dare Dream Different." With that, I checked off the 8^th of the 10 “things to do before I die,” a second time. I had drawn up that list in 1988. The paper on which the list was written could not stand its age and one day when I opened it to read, it just disintegrated. I know well the two I am still left to do.  

Thoughts have a strange way of making their presence felt. They come and go at their free will. I do not know why Antony’s speech came to the fore. It set me thinking. Is that the truth?  What about those who do good? Are they of relevance only till their graves? Are good deeds destined only for oblivion? 

Eulogies mean nothing to the dead. More of a social grace, it just adds to the frills of the spectacle called, funeral. Once the flow of eulogies from both eloquent and emotional speakers at the funeral ceases, the dead is nothing more than a memory.  Memories of people are fleeting but those of injuries, remain unobliterated. It always comes back with the same set of emotions. In an era where everybody is blaming someone dead long ago for the ills perceived today, Shakespeare, the visionary, was right. 

 

I am happily retired. I had a very successful run in my career. I did not reach the topmost position but I was considered. I blame no one for it. My bucket list is all done barring my desire to play the keyboard and obtain a pilot license. I have second thoughts on both but I have not given up. My book just got its first overseas sale. I was as happy as I could ever be. “The Evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones.”  Why did this occur to me now?  How was it linked to Mr JS Iyer? Mr. Iyer taught Mathematics and not English. Suddenly, things fell into place and I solved the puzzle.

 

I vividly recalled the incident. It happened in Feb1975.

 

I was in the hostel of a residential school. It was a weekend. My father had come to visit me. I was in the 10^th class and did not show any signs of doing well in life. I do not know why; I could never sit through the full duration of an examination. I left when I thought I had written enough to pass. I scored just the pass marks in all the subjects right from the fifth standard till the tenth. There was nothing great about it but it allowed me to continue in the elite school, receiving the scholarship and free education. The board examinations were just one year away. Just passing meant nothing. Worse, it would be a loss of face especially when my cousin had passed out from the same school with honours. My father was naturally very worried.

 

We were standing at the highest point in the school from where two roads radiated down. I was at the lowest in my life and the road ahead for me was nowhere in sight. I could clearly see the dormitories in the distance and the parade ground below. There was neither any clarity about what destiny had in store for me nor did I have anything worth parading. My father was disturbed. He was counselling me and I had shut myself in. It was then I saw Mr Iyer cycling up the gradient. Those days most teachers could only afford cycles. I am sure, he must have seen worry written large on my father's face and mine too. He stopped. 

 

“Good evening, sir,” I said, as he came close enough. It was customary for students to wish their teachers whenever they met a teacher. It also helped me break the barrage from my distraught after. “Good evening, Jacob Tharakan,” he replied. “How are you Mr. Tharakan?” he asked my father.  My father opened his bag of woes about me in front of Mr Iyer. “I am worried about him,” said my father. After the little conversation, Mr. Iyer told my father, “Don't worry Mr. Tharakan, I can assure you that one day your son will make you proud. He has a great future. Take my word for it.” Mr. Iyer then mounted his cycle and went his way.

 

“He can say all that. He was only trying to console me. I find it difficult to believe it,” my father said. I liked what he said. I also knew that Mr. Iyer was being kind. “Maybe one day I will do well,” I said to myself. Later that evening, after my father had left, sitting with my friend Jayakumar, in the corner of the farthest football court, discussing our future, I started believing in what Mr Iyer said. Our discussions about what we would be became more meaningful. It changed the way I looked at myself. Mr. Iyer helped me change the way I looked at myself. It changed my life. Jayakumar later became a banker and I joined the Army.

 

I became an Army officer in 1981. I did very well in all the Army Courses. I became a Brigadier in 2010. One evening, sitting with my wife and enjoying our tea, I felt like calling up Mr Iyer. I managed to get hold of Mr. Iyer's number and dialled. I knew my call would be a surprise.  He had retired long back and must have been quite old. I had never tried to contact him before that. I was not sure if he would recall my name. “Good evening, sir,” I said when he picked up the phone. “Good evening, wait,” he said. I could immediately make out that he was trying to jog his memory. “Jacob Tharakan, Ashoka House, My son, Suresh’s classmate,” he said. He even called out my roll number. It was my turn to be surprised. 

 

“Sir, you still remember me?” I asked. “How better can a retired teacher spend his sunset years?” he said. He asked me everything about what I had done all these years. “I am very happy you remember your teachers. I am grateful you called. It made my day,” he said. He was emotional and so was I. “Sir, how can I forget you? I can forget anybody or anything in this world but not you. You trusted me when even I had lost faith in myself. I know my call is many years overdue. I called to thank you for what you have done for me,” I said. I must have spoken to him once or twice after that.  

 

Corporal punishment was the norm those days.  Some teachers let their anger loose on hapless children. Nobody questioned them. I have received some myself. Mr Iyer never hit or admonished any child. I never saw him getting angry. He was a gentle soul. He was not at the center of any alumni activities and never got the attention or recognition he deserved; not that I know of. He was a Guru, who did his job and faded away. I retired on the 31^st of July 2017 as a two-star general. Mr. Iyer passed away on the 19^th of Jul 2019.

 

I am not young anymore but I am surer about myself than ever before. I spend time telling stories to my grandchildren when they come to visit; just like my grandfather did when I visited him. This is one story I will tell them when I meet them next. The story of my teacher, Mr Iyer who proved Shakespeare was wrong.

 

Maybe with kindness and empathy, we too like Mr Iyer can prove Shakespeare wrong. Maybe our grandchildren can tell others how their grandparents proved Shakespeare wrong. Maybe, proving Shakespeare wrong can be the next item on our bucket list.