Once More, One Last Time

 

The Last Run

The aircraft had been on the search and rescue mission for quite some time. The sailor ‘over board’ had still not been spotted. The crew had done whatever they could have, but to no avail. The weather wasn’t great and the sun, too was about to drown. The captain could feel the knots in his stomach. A sense of defeat filled the cockpit. It was time to call off  the mission and set course for the base. 

He took a hard look at all those dials in front. The fuel onboard could hold them up a little while more. Something within told him, “May be, one more run, One last run…”

He then took a long deep breath and spoke into his radio "Running once more, One last time”.

The aircraft banked and turned right back into search and the crew pressed itself to the mission one last time, It was now or never.

Suddenly, as if from nowhere appeared, someone, bobbing in the seas below.

'One last time' and a life saved. A decision that snatched life from the jaws of death. 

 

Neither Fiction Nor Miracle

In fact, it’s a story often witnessed, albeit in different forms by almost anyone who has been part of extreme search and rescue missions. Good or bad, the outcome, it is only the headlines that remain in our memory. The superhuman efforts that made it possible, is invariably overshadowed by euphoria around victorious rescues.

“Baby saved alive from rubbles after twelve days”. “Children saved alive from flooded cave after 18 days”. There are so many such headlines across the world every day! Nobody talks of the one who 'decides' to stick on and if at all done, not for long.

Such rescues are not just miracles but the end pieces of ‘never give up’ acts of dedication. When conditioning and conditions compel almost everyone to give up, there could be one, just one, who refuses to give up; the one, who wants to take ‘one more run, one last run’. 

It is the courage of that one person, who calls for that ‘one more, one last attempt’ and his/her will to push the envelope of hope beyond the normal that forces victory. Hope, is the most valued asset, in the midst of despair

But does every such ‘last run’ yield results? Sometimes, yes. Certainly not always.

 

The Web Not Attempts That Matter

Our elders told us the story of King Bruce and the spider and taught us that perseverance produces success". We were told to attempt and reattempt, so that one day we could succeed. 

Success doesn't necessarily come from repeatedly attempting something that we have repeatedly failed in. It is foolish to reinforce failure. It is worse to persevere with repeated failures, for each failure dents self-esteem and ebbs the will to go forward. It kills us from within and pulls us down in our own eyes and others too.

There is none yet born who hasn't failed. He who claims having not tasted defeat ever, is a liar. Preceding every success, would be innumerable failures. The ability to, draw lessons from each failure, identify own flaws and challengers’ strength, understand situations and its demands, see and seize opportunities besides capability and willingness to rework strategies separate the successful from others. Failure offers us the chance to reattempt and win, provided we are willing to learn and course correct.

We were told that King Bruce, motivated by his ‘spider guru’, vanquished his enemies in his seventh attempt. We were never told nor did we ever bother to see through, that the story was less about the number of his reattempts but more about the craft of creating better webs (traps) to lure the enemy into his chosen killing fields.

Our story should be less about repeated attempts and more about pursuit of our aims with better preparation after every failure.

Ignorance and Perseverance

Known or unknown to us, there are many factors that influence the course of our daily lives. We have control over few. We have no control over many. But worse, we think we have no control over very many. Here lies the catch.

Awareness about our strengths and weaknesses helps. We naturally associate limitations with expectations and therefore tend to pitch our aims low. It is terrible to be held back by awareness of our weaknesses. Unfortunately, we are conditioned to under- pitch and so underperform once we become aware of our limitations. Knowledge of own weaknesses must not result in lower aims and expectations, but propel us to address and find ways to overcome those limitations.

Not every limitation originates within. Many are passed on to us by beliefs and practices. These are yokes that bind us to the millstones of poor expectations. It takes a lot of courage to break free of such shackles.

On the other hand, one could be blissfully unaware of such constricting norms. It is then heroes like Cliff Young emerge. Such ignorance doesn’t bleed one’s efforts to push oneself far beyond the normal and set standards for others to follow. Ignorance is bliss only in such cases.

 

The Inner Voice

To expect all labour to bear fruit, is vanity. Not to attempt for fear of failure is foolishness. It’s only by committing and persisting can one achieve success. Failure is an omnipresent truth. The knowledge, where, when and how much to labour is wisdom. To rise from failure is courage.

The wise and mighty too, are not insulated from failure. Each failure comes with innumerable valuable lessons. It is important to see lessons in failure and learn from it. Ability to learn from others’ mistakes is a divine gift and learning from own mistakes, human yet wise. Perseverance is not just about being at it. It is more about relentless application with continuous learning, course corrections and choice of appropriate means. There is a voice within us that tells us where and when to stop.

Listen carefully.

The voice, even when faint, is felt by the wise. Many remain deaf even when it is loud enough to be heard by everyone else.

Fortunately, one can easily train oneself to be wise!

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Watch Out! This Solution Too Could Be A Problem Soon!

 

Solutions! Really?

The earth is infested with discarded PET bottles and plastic carry bags. Bobbing along waves, choking waterways and making up most of landfills, each piece a folly of mankind. Micro plastics have invaded potable water and aqua marine food source and our existence contaminated. Plastics, once touted as the solution to many a problem, have become the most pervasive environmental risk! Solution becoming a problem?

Computers determine how we live, whether we use it ourselves or not. It is deployed even to influence our thoughts and emotions, thereby dictating our choices and actions, in ways beyond what we can fathom. Nothing is beyond the reach of these binary logic machines. While we enjoy benefits of information technology applications, we also suffer unstoppable loss of privacy and hopeless dependence. Control of mankind is slowly coming to rest at the mercy of these machines. Once purely meant for mathematical applications, they now evoke both awe and shock with what it can do. Just one machine and a pair of mad hands, things could truly go haywire! Another solution becoming a problem?

National and international politics, business, economics, science, governance, in fact every possible field relevant to human existence has a history of problems incarnating as solutions.

You think it is restricted only to such mega issues?

Take a close look at one’s personal life!  

Many current problems might have roots in those very solutions that one might have adopted. Toxic relations, broken marriages, financial losses, stress and strain and maybe every personal problem could be the by-product of a ‘solution’ adopted.

Can’t find it? Maybe one is not looking close enough.

 

Longevity of Solutions

Solution is an answer to a problem, the means chosen amongst available or generated choices to mitigate a situation. Both, the process of generating choices and choosing one amongst them, are input dependent and time relevant. To a large extent it depends on our understanding of the problem, its root causes and implications. Longevity of the solution’s relevance depends primarily on the designer’s ‘etiognosis - diagnosis- prognosis’ skills.

Change inputs, solutions differ. Change time coordinates solutions become irrelevant. It is impossible to create fit-all solutions relevant for all times to come. Does it mean that, there are no perfect solutions? Yes; almost impossible.  Then what?

 

Designing Solutions

There is always the probability of having missed an input or a chance to get more inputs about the problem at hand. Waiting for all possible inputs to emerge for designing solutions could indefinitely delay finalising solutions and render it irrelevant. Inadequacy of inputs and urgency of situations are challenges to finding solutions. Securing acceptance and implementation is no less challenging.

Ability to diagnose problems and pinpoint causative factors help understand situations. Most have it in fair measure, or so we think. Prognostic skills help visualise how situations unfold in time. Most claim to have it, so they think. Application of the three skills helps us design practical solutions. Solutions that transcend time make visionaries out of mortals who designed them. But, not even the best solution is timeproof.

Solutions that reap instant relief, receive instant traction, wide acceptance and garner followers to defend. But over time, popular support notwithstanding, efficacy of solutions diminishes and flaws become glaring and undefendable. Even the best thought solution could sometime become a problem by itself.

Why do solutions become problem?

 

Confirmation Bias?

A solution becomes a problem, when it has lost its relevance but is still allowed to continue its redundant existence. Circumstances that necessitated its birth would have long ceased to exist but solutions continue to persist. Local, regional, national and international landscapes are littered with such solutions.

Persistence to continue with it rather than discarding it might be due to economic, political administrative or other compulsions. The whole world knows about plastic-contamination. Yet, we continue producing it by the tonnes each day. Why? Economic and political reasons? Greed and inability? Inertia or fear? Personal problems likewise have definite reasons. Why not reconsider? Ego or inability? All listed and unlisted reasons are fuelled by confirmation bias, cognitive in nature.

Prevalent all over and residing in all of us, confirmation bias is powerful enough to create and sustain disputes and misunderstandings. We tend to favourably reason for what we, believe in, are used to, support or hold sacred. Though there could be serious flaws in what we believe in, support or practice, we tend to be blind to its cons and deaf to reasons against, often knowingly. Confirmation bias lethally compromises our etiognosis-diagnosis-prognosis skills. Since society, as a matter of contemporary practice responds aggressively to opinions that do not conform to those held by the voice of the powerful, confirmation bias, the easy safe way ahead, thrives.

 

Beat The Bias

Success of the Wright brothers is attributed to their ability to endlessly argue, but constructively, about what each thought and believed in. This essentially snuffed out confirmation bias. Ruthlessly contested ideas gave wings to their dreams.

Ideation unless vigorously contested, tend to be short-sighted, flawed and hence hopelessly short-lived. Allurements or fear of repercussions keep things going till they can persist. Eventually they fall apart. Ideologies, and empires have fallen.

The best way for a solution to remain relevant for long is to remain linked to times. That necessitates changes as per diktats of changing inputs. Solutions are mere inanimate processes. The key lies with the man behind it!

 

Give It Up

It is human to be emotionally attached to ideas and decisions, though it may not be the best way forward. Normally we don’t take kindly to criticism of our ideas. It is often considered a personal affront. With career, livelihood or even existence at stake, most do not express reservations. Many use the opportunity to curry favours and harvest benefits by singing praises. Wisdom easily differentiates!

If one is willing to throw ideas to the wolves, the best would survive. The easiest way is to detach oneself from one’s own ideas. Willingness to accept existence of better view and perception helps everything but ego. It needs us to tune into actively listening without being hurt. It needs us to dissent without hurting. Craving for success and its ownership is better served if solutions emerge post contest.  

It can happen, only if we are willing to give up ownership of our ideas!

Points to Ponder

Why do societies continue with  discriminative practices although everyone speaks against it? 

Why do people preach but not practise?

Inability? Convenience to few  at the cost of others?

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Unmatched Investment opportunity - Gratitude

Down Memory Lane

My wife and I, try and find time, both in the morning and evening to sit together and talk to each other. Ever since I left active service, it has become much easier to do so. Quietness of the area we live in and our two wooden chairs provide all the comforts required. Many who know us, ask, “What do you both keep talking so much about?”

Besides the mundane, the conversation is mostly about our lives gone by, the good and bad times, the beautiful and trying moments, the calms and roughs we sailed through, of the people we met and their contributions to our journey. Our morning conversations help us plan start and run the day reasonably well. The evening ones are mostly journeys down memory lane. It fills us with a sense of gratitude and helps us re-experience blissful moments. It also helps us view the tough and trying times we survived with a sense of detached wisdom.

Often there would be a reference to someone who had been nice to us. Within a day or two of such reference, we end up calling the person. I make it a point to recount the incident, to that individual and express our gratitude for the act of kindness, the help or support rendered. Most would have forgotten their act of kindness but on being reminded, the response is always one of immense happiness. Everybody loves it. If at all there’s a silence, its momentary and only for loss of words.

 

Call it by Any Name

Emotion or trait? Debates notwithstanding, gratitude is an attitude, a nutrient, that enriches one’s own life. It dramatically reduces negativity within, increases happiness, enhances sense of wellbeing and improves physical health. Gratitude is an emotion that embodies voluntary acceptance of having received something, material or otherwise, real or imaginary, from someone other than oneself.

Though it need not necessarily, manifest as words or deeds, gratitude effectively influences all words and deeds of the individual towards the individual who is worthy of gratitude. Though expressions of gratitude seem to close a ‘take and give’ transaction loop, it actually initiates a self-sustaining and reinforcing cycle and creates strong symbiotic interpersonal relationships that defy geographical and cultural barriers.

 

Where It Starts

Gratitude commences when others’ contributions to our life is acknowledged and accepted. What is recognised as worthy of being grateful for, is purely a personal choice. An assistance given when required, an act of kindness when expected or least expected, a promise kept, few good words when we are down and struggling, a supporting stance in a situation, in fact anything could be considered worthy of gratitude. Such positive strokes make us feel valued, wanted, connected and cared for. Expressions of gratitude depend on our choice of canvas, colour and brush.

But being grateful only to those and only for the visibly good or positive support we received, is an incomplete version of gratitude. We also tend to deny gratitude to our detractors and even those who didn’t meet our expectations.  

 

Bad Is As Good

Our detractors reveal for us, our chinks. We might really be oblivious of the chinks in our armour, or we might gloss over them. At times, we may not consider worthy of addressing them or having known about it may be deliberately hiding it or just not giving the importance due. The truth is; chinks are chinks and can let us down.

Our detractors show us the true mirror and lay bare our chinks. The challenges they create and seemingly unsurmountable hurdles they design, eventually help us strengthen our resolve, fathom our reserves, open new vistas of opportunities and bring out the best in us. Their actions could  change the very course of our lives. But the destination we are headed to, remains our choice to make. If we are alive and bold enough, we can make that choice whenever, even now. Blaming detractors for our state is akin to handing over the reins of life to someone else.

Our detractors are worthy of gratitude for they embolden us and temper us like steel in fire. Why should individuals who fortify us be denied gratitude? Why should those, who made us realise our worth be unworthy of gratitude?

Consider our detractors as challengers, for its they who challenged us to discover our true strong selves. They show us who is in control of our lives. It removes the anger, the animosity we carry against them and cleanse us, of toxins within.

 

Expectation Exclusions

Many compare acts of kindness or assistance received with what they had expected from the donor. Burdened with minimal or negligible knowledge of others’ capabilities, compulsions and limitations, expectations are broths cooked only from our perspective. In a stringent regime of comparison, the chance of expectations being met is the least.  Those entrapped in the snare of comparison unfortunately render themselves helpless and incapable of gratitude. They kill gratitude even before it is conceived.

Gratitude is not a compulsion to repay or an act to bring closure to a perceived emotional debt. When the focus is on returning a favour at the earliest, people are only eager to close the deal! It’s only like paying for services rendered. Attempts to offset what has been received from someone, by an act of ours towards that individual is bookkeeping. This has nothing to do with gratitude. Such persons actually inflict injury on themselves in their attempt to be ‘debt free’. Such individual’s life would be full of ‘sundry debtor’ entries for he would believe himself to be the ‘sundry creditor’ everywhere.  They make up the bulk of the unhappy lot of people. Gratitude is not a soulless return of favours received. Gratitude is an emotion that comes from within.

 

Experiencing Gratitude

Contrary to commonly held belief that gratitude is indebtedness, it is actually a liberating experience. It adds value to what has been given and received besides establishing a bond between the donor and recipient. It is a state of mind that helps connect people. Gratitude establishes mutually beneficial connects between people without creating dominant and subordinate partners. It sows happiness within and outside and reaps it manifold. Grateful people create beneficial networks and draw more into it. In a world where ungratefulness is becoming the norm, gratitude is nectar that helps forge strong relationships. Gratitude opens up unimaginable opportunities!

The process however, starts from within. It starts with our deliberate attempts to identify people, whom we should be grateful to and letting them know of it. It needs a purposeful journey down memory lane.

Gratitude Journey

Journey down memory lane, reveals both well-wishers and challengers. Well-wishers give us the good feel and at times even life lines. As we move along, we would keep finding such individuals. There would be few, who seem to remain forever as our pillars for strength, others who in a single act can fill you with gratitude for life. There would be some, who by their mere presence makes you rich strong and grateful. There would also be many architects of turbulence who by their acts forced us into the roughs. But none of us, could have reached where we have, without them. Both benefactors and challengers are worthy of gratitude.

Call up benefactors and say ‘thank you’ and reenergise relationships. Rename detractors as challengers, call them up and say ‘thank you’. We  may end up delivering a miserable soul from agony and establish a relationship new or at least rid ourselves of the baggage of animosity and anger.

Investment Mantra

It is surprising that a ‘returns’ obsessed society as ours has remained blind to this investment opportunity called gratitude. It demands abysmally low investments, offers assured zero risks and guarantees very high yield. It does good within and beyond.

Living amidst countless investment gurus, incessantly advertising many ways to become rich, we are tempted to follow one or more, only to realise a little late that the dreams for which we had toiled all along still remain distant. 

Take this advice. Invest in gratitude.

Reap rewards of happiness and a strong network of benefactors.

Reinvest and stay invested.

Become the happiest person you have ever known.

Point to Ponder!

Heard the story of the Lion and Mouse? The mouse who fell on a sleeping lion!

Was the mouse indebted or just being grateful?  

Did the Lion leave the mouse expecting a deed in return?