Friday 9 July 2021

Unmatched Investment opportunity - Gratitude


Down Memory Lane

My wife and I, try and find time, both in the morning and evening to sit together and talk to each other. Ever since I left active service, it has become much easier to do so. Quietness of the area we live in and our two wooden chairs provide all the comforts required. Many who know us, ask, “What do you both keep talking so much about?”

Besides the mundane, the conversation is mostly about our lives gone by, the good and bad times, the beautiful and trying moments, the calms and roughs we sailed through, of the people we met and their contributions to our journey. Our morning conversations help us plan start and run the day reasonably well. The evening ones are mostly journeys down memory lane. It fills us with a sense of gratitude and helps us re-experience blissful moments. It also helps us view the tough and trying times we survived with a sense of detached wisdom.

Often there would be a reference to someone who had been nice to us. Within a day or two of such reference, we end up calling the person. I make it a point to recount the incident, to that individual and express our gratitude for the act of kindness, the help or support rendered. Most would have forgotten their act of kindness but on being reminded, the response is always one of immense happiness. Everybody loves it. If at all there’s a silence, its momentary and only for loss of words.

 

Call it by Any Name

Emotion or trait? Debates notwithstanding, gratitude is an attitude, a nutrient, that enriches one’s own life. It dramatically reduces negativity within, increases happiness, enhances sense of wellbeing and improves physical health. Gratitude is an emotion that embodies voluntary acceptance of having received something, material or otherwise, real or imaginary, from someone other than oneself.

Though it need not necessarily, manifest as words or deeds, gratitude effectively influences all words and deeds of the individual towards the individual who is worthy of gratitude. Though expressions of gratitude seem to close a ‘take and give’ transaction loop, it actually initiates a self-sustaining and reinforcing cycle and creates strong symbiotic interpersonal relationships that defy geographical and cultural barriers.

 

Where It Starts

Gratitude commences when others’ contributions to our life is acknowledged and accepted. What is recognised as worthy of being grateful for, is purely a personal choice. An assistance given when required, an act of kindness when expected or least expected, a promise kept, few good words when we are down and struggling, a supporting stance in a situation, in fact anything could be considered worthy of gratitude. Such positive strokes make us feel valued, wanted, connected and cared for. Expressions of gratitude depend on our choice of canvas, colour and brush.

But being grateful only to those and only for the visibly good or positive support we received, is an incomplete version of gratitude. We also tend to deny gratitude to our detractors and even those who didn’t meet our expectations.  

 

Bad Is As Good

Our detractors reveal for us, our chinks. We might really be oblivious of the chinks in our armour, or we might gloss over them. At times, we may not consider worthy of addressing them or having known about it may be deliberately hiding it or just not giving the importance due. The truth is; chinks are chinks and can let us down.

Our detractors show us the true mirror and lay bare our chinks. The challenges they create and seemingly unsurmountable hurdles they design, eventually help us strengthen our resolve, fathom our reserves, open new vistas of opportunities and bring out the best in us. Their actions could  change the very course of our lives. But the destination we are headed to, remains our choice to make. If we are alive and bold enough, we can make that choice whenever, even now. Blaming detractors for our state is akin to handing over the reins of life to someone else.

Our detractors are worthy of gratitude for they embolden us and temper us like steel in fire. Why should individuals who fortify us be denied gratitude? Why should those, who made us realise our worth be unworthy of gratitude?

Consider our detractors as challengers, for its they who challenged us to discover our true strong selves. They show us who is in control of our lives. It removes the anger, the animosity we carry against them and cleanse us, of toxins within.

 

Expectation Exclusions

Many compare acts of kindness or assistance received with what they had expected from the donor. Burdened with minimal or negligible knowledge of others’ capabilities, compulsions and limitations, expectations are broths cooked only from our perspective. In a stringent regime of comparison, the chance of expectations being met is the least.  Those entrapped in the snare of comparison unfortunately render themselves helpless and incapable of gratitude. They kill gratitude even before it is conceived.

Gratitude is not a compulsion to repay or an act to bring closure to a perceived emotional debt. When the focus is on returning a favour at the earliest, people are only eager to close the deal! It’s only like paying for services rendered. Attempts to offset what has been received from someone, by an act of ours towards that individual is bookkeeping. This has nothing to do with gratitude. Such persons actually inflict injury on themselves in their attempt to be ‘debt free’. Such individual’s life would be full of ‘sundry debtor’ entries for he would believe himself to be the ‘sundry creditor’ everywhere.  They make up the bulk of the unhappy lot of people. Gratitude is not a soulless return of favours received. Gratitude is an emotion that comes from within.

 

Experiencing Gratitude

Contrary to commonly held belief that gratitude is indebtedness, it is actually a liberating experience. It adds value to what has been given and received besides establishing a bond between the donor and recipient. It is a state of mind that helps connect people. Gratitude establishes mutually beneficial connects between people without creating dominant and subordinate partners. It sows happiness within and outside and reaps it manifold. Grateful people create beneficial networks and draw more into it. In a world where ungratefulness is becoming the norm, gratitude is nectar that helps forge strong relationships. Gratitude opens up unimaginable opportunities!

The process however, starts from within. It starts with our deliberate attempts to identify people, whom we should be grateful to and letting them know of it. It needs a purposeful journey down memory lane.


Gratitude Journey

Journey down memory lane, reveals both well-wishers and challengers. Well-wishers give us the good feel and at times even life lines. As we move along, we would keep finding such individuals. There would be few, who seem to remain forever as our pillars for strength, others who in a single act can fill you with gratitude for life. There would be some, who by their mere presence makes you rich strong and grateful. There would also be many architects of turbulence who by their acts forced us into the roughs. But none of us, could have reached where we have, without them. Both benefactors and challengers are worthy of gratitude.

Call up benefactors and say ‘thank you’ and reenergise relationships. Rename detractors as challengers, call them up and say ‘thank you’. We  may end up delivering a miserable soul from agony and establish a relationship new or at least rid ourselves of the baggage of animosity and anger.


Investment Mantra

It is surprising that a ‘returns’ obsessed society as ours has remained blind to this investment opportunity called gratitude. It demands abysmally low investments, offers assured zero risks and guarantees very high yield. It does good within and beyond.

Living amidst countless investment gurus, incessantly advertising many ways to become rich, we are tempted to follow one or more, only to realise a little late that the dreams for which we had toiled all along still remain distant. 

Take this advice. Invest in gratitude.

Reap rewards of happiness and a strong network of benefactors.

Reinvest and stay invested.

Become the happiest person you have ever known.

Point to Ponder!

Heard the story of the Lion and Mouse? The mouse who fell on a sleeping lion!

Was the mouse indebted or just being grateful?  

Did the Lion leave the mouse expecting a deed in return?


 

33 comments:

  1. Ramesh Krishnan9 July 2021 at 09:33

    A subtle twist to Nishkama Karma as seen from receivers perspective.. Very innovative but practicable thought.. Let's invest in Gratitude.. One way ticket to the moon! (or Heaven)..

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the interesting addendum. The thoughts are mine and i have been doing it for some time.

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  2. πŸ‘πŸΌ wonderful Sir, Gratitude is always an after-thought, one which evolves over a period of time, after the deed continues to strum the empathy strings of our soul. There is also a small tinge of guilt associated with it, fot not having been spontaneous to react. It unshackles us from toxic emotions and self obsessions, it helps to heal, even if we don’t share it.
    At times, our life is smothered by unwelcome complexities, before it is rekindled by a spark from elsewhere or being. It is blossom that voluntarily manifests from another soul, the one which we may not even know it exists. Gratitude also transforms what we have into plentiful.Gratitude is directly propotional to one's inner happiness.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the detailed comment. You said it all. Gratitude actually makes what we have into plentiful

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  3. Loved reading specially the emotional and practical aspects you have mentioned in your beautifully written article about gratitude. Many a times, we are unable to repay or show gratitude for an act of kindness received. Hence, we should feel very happy to show gratitude if we get an opportunity or else we will always be indebted to that kind person for the timely help. Looking for more such meaningful articles and keep up the good work, sir.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the comments. We have been conditioned unfortunately to be wary of accepting compliments and even a "Thank you". Its always 'the time' to say a thank you, when ever we feel like.

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  4. One helping hand,one voice of agreement,one expression of appreciation, one favourable action are adequate to begin the day with zeal.We often remember good people, when we face bad ones. Gratitude need not be expressed in words or deeds but a mention in your prayers is adequate.Man proposes,God disposes.
    A touchy and hearty write-up by the General which will bring cheers to all good human beings.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. You ae right gratitude is an emption that can be understood without words or deeds. Yet it has to be there to be felt.

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  5. So meaningful...there is so much to be grateful for...but most of us don't even realize the little things that have come unasked and unexpected...In a world where we miss our opportunities for expressing gratitude or even acknowledging a good deed, it feels marvelous to picture the two of you sitting amidst your serene surroundings recalling your blessings...The best part is that you practise what you preach...Thank you for being you.

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    1. Thank you very much. I am NOT good at many things and faking something, i am pretty bad. I am indeed lucky i met the most beautiful person in the world and she agreed to be my wife and mother of my children. Well, we have moved on to being great friends. Despite our differences we even think alike now. I am also lucky to have come across with so many friends , you included who have understood and accepted me as i am. There too i am lucky.
      Thank you for reading.
      regards

      Delete
  6. People you liked and people you had hated both are responsible in equal measure for the person you are today.Bitter lessons and sweet lessons creates a balanced person.Thank them all.

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    Replies
    1. For bitter or better, life is a journey that's enriched by good and bad.
      Thanks a lot for the comments

      Delete
  7. Nicely said. Enjoyed reading it-`Good food for thought`!!

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  8. Well written Sir, sheds light on a basic but often overlooked thing in life. Everyone craves for a sense of identity & importance. When one helps others they feel good, but their happiness increases many folds when they remember is in their gratitude. But like mentioned, we shouldn't help others with the expectation of one's gratitude. Like mentioned in the Bible "When you give with your one hand the other hand shouldn't know".
    Regards
    Lizy Johny

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much.
      Yes a deed with no expectations is nishkam karma.
      Gratitude on the other hand is recognition of others contributions, good or bad and how much we value that.
      Thank you very much for being a benevolent patron of the blog

      Delete
  9. Dear Sir ,
    You have enriched our lives by being there for us and are enriching our souls with your beautiful thoughts .God bless you always

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  10. Very interesting write up. I liked the line; gratitude is ones attitude. The truth reflects it's subtle bitterness. Attitude being subjective, somewhere I feel suppresses Gratitude. In today's world, it's searching it's essence. You were right, it certainly creates dejavu. Beautiful ❤️. Enjoyed reading it.

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  11. Thank you very much for the comments.
    The taste of truth like gratitude is entirely a persons choice! Doesn't it actually very visibly indicate presence of our expectations and its link to what we call and understand as Gratitude?
    It is Like divinity!
    Though present and easily regeneratable mankind has abandoned integral inherent divinity but is in search of it everywhere!
    Oh Mankind!!! its so ironic to call ourselves mankind when kindness has been orphaned and abandoned long ago!!

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  12. Beautiful article, on gratitude....but I particularly loved the introduction,wherein you have mentioned,that you both find time in the morning and evening to sit together and talk to each other even while at service,which implies that you made conscious effort to maintain the beautiful relationship betn you both....deserves meaningful introspection,worth emulating...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. We seldom realise that relationship like anything in nature , needs nourishment! Relationship is in fact akin to a 'ship' in a sea called 'relation'. The sea could be calm, choppy and turbulent. its up to those who are aboard the ship to steady it and ride out storms. if the two in the ship take pains to work on it, the ship can ride out any storms.
      Luckily we realised it early in life. may be we hit the storm as soon as we left port. grateful to the storm and its creators, we learned to run the ship!. Thank you once again. You both have been on our ship often and we have berthed our ship at your port too.
      regards

      Delete
  13. GRATITUDE....What a strong word from the Vocab...

    Jai Hind Sir,

    You never cease to impress with your knack of going after the toughest of them all...Wowzyyyy....

    On a much serious note, gratitude wen paid to us makes us feel imp...but when it comes to paying for ; makes us queasy-peasy about being taken advantage of OR be thought of as flimsyy...

    My two pt. thought...
    a) Its a debt, so I go by...' You treat me good, I treat U mucho mucho Better😊...'
    b) Lastly ,my soothing touch, appreciation is earned after v v v careful discretion...n if however, my judgement fails n I help an ungrateful, ...well so be it, Its a learning, its called LIFE..

    Yupp...but my Gratitude is always Intact...I never fall short...ever,ever, .....EverπŸ™πŸ™

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    1. Thank you Jhilmil.
      Discretion they say is the better part of valour. Let those who are mean be.. you are filled with goodness. continue spreading good.
      Rest everything falls in place.

      Delete
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