BELIEF IN SELF: FUEL FOR HIGHER ORBITS

The Incident

It was just another day at the Institute where I was attending a training programme. Tea-break of the day provided welcome relief from intricacies associated with designing weapons. A group of young army officers visiting our institution were the guests for tea. As is the custom, few amongst us moved in to talk to the guests.

I stayed put with my thoughts.

I had this strange feeling that someone from that group was looking at me. As I panned the group, I found him and our eyes locked. The way he looked at me, it seemed he knew me well. I too felt, I had met him somewhere, but could not recollect. As the elder, I took the first few steps. He reciprocated, almost running towards me, stopped, gave me a smart salute right from his heart.

“Sir, you didn't recognise me.

I am Captain Vijay[1].

I was a vehicle mechanic in your unit.”

In a flash, everything fell in place.

The warmth of the hug that followed and the sheen of those stars on his shoulders remain one of the most rewarding moments of my life.

Where it all Started

I was barely four years into service. I had moved to the peace location after a high-altitude tenure. Having survived a very rough patch in my career right at the beginning, I had found time in high-altitude loneliness to dig deep into the reserves of self-belief. It helped me find peace within, rediscover and relaunch myself.

The first time I met Vijay was when he was brought to my office after he got into an argument with his senior. Even before he was brought in, I was told everything that others knew about him. Nobody liked him. Though very skilled at his job he was often found at the wrong side of things.

I am convinced that human beings act more from the domain of weakness and insecurity than from position of strength. Every act, spontaneous or contemplated, is intended to negate shortcomings perceived and internalised. It is the negatives in a person, not strength that dictate and establish behavioural patterns. Thus, when I come across someone with symptoms of arrogance, insubordination, inflated ego, or inefficiency, I deal with that person with compassion, unless that person I feel is irredeemable. It helps me understand him and handle situations better. For me it is always an effort to get the best out of that person. It has gifted me very satisfying and rewarding moments in life. I have seen lives saved from the brink, seen individuals triumph and families happy.

It took me a while to convince Vijay to take the chair and some efforts to make him talk. In the first few moments of interaction itself, I realised that I was talking to an intelligent, articulate and ambitious man who by some quirk of fate was stuck in a slot he detested. He was angry with himself for having enrolled as a soldier when he could have become an officer had he been advised correctly. He neither could get out nor was he comfortable in the place he found himself. He seemed angry with himself and the society. He felt caged. All his behavioural issues, I felt were driven by frustration. The long discussion ended with him becoming aware of the opportunities and his pledge to appear for the tests that allow soldiers to become officers. We were just in time and I could move his application.

Over the next few months we struggled with his preparations. He did a lot of mock tests. I also gave him interview practices. At times he would come to me for clarifying doubts. Most of the time he was upbeat, confident and hopeful. But there were times when he was unsure of the outcome and his own capabilities. He would hit lows immersed in self-doubts. I remember telling him that, if success was so impossible, no one would ever attempt to succeed. I would often tell him that even if he wanted, he couldn’t fail. Once he asked me, why I believed so much, in him. My reply to him was “I can see stars on your shoulders”.

While I was still in chair, he qualified the written examination. Shortly after that I moved out on transfer.

He cleared the interview and joined the military academy. Since world wasn’t as linked as it is now, we had lost contact. 

Eight years is neither  long a time, nor short. 

I was standing face to face with a smart young officer, a responsible leader and gentlemen.

There are many capable individuals around us living entrapped in situations necessarily not of their own making. All of us come face to face with odds. But for some, self-doubts make it seem insurmountable. They need just one push. There are many around us looking for that one hand, that one word, to propel them to stardom, to chart their path. 

Most of them need nothing beyond reassurance in their own capabilities to fuel their quest to success. They just want to hear, “Yes; You can”.

It’s all about belief in self. Only when one is fuelled by self-belief, can one be launched into  higher orbits. 
Everyone needs it. 
Few find it on their own. 
Maybe, few amongst us can help others find it.

Post Script

The story is incomplete without mention of Late Colonel A N Deshpande, my mentor, a hard task master. He believed in me and my capabilities much more than I did. The trust and faith he reposed in me will put even the bravest gambler to shame. There were more seniors who trusted me with responsibilities beyond my age and charter. But all of them saw a self assured me. The one who really made me trust myself was Colonel Ashok Narayan Deshpande.

As a superior in chain, I repaid, reposing faith in each of my subordinate. NOT ONE has ever failed me.

As a trainer and facilitator, I help people trust themselves, explore and discover the vast reserves within.

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[1] Name changed