WHY THEY ARE, WHAT THEY ARE & WHAT WE MUST BE

Pancake Collapse

“A classic Pancake – Collapse” declared the expert on Television. ‘Pancake – collapse’, the horror that befell ‘Tarique Gardens’, a five storied building in Mahad, is considered the worst collapse a multi-storeyed building can suffer because each floor crashes over the one below telescoping groundward trapping everything underneath. Rescue becomes difficult and painfully slow because debris has to be cleared layer by layer from the top. Pancake collapse happens when columns of the structure are woefully weak. Even an infinitesimal increase in load beyond the threshold can trigger a collapse, waiting to happen anytime. This catastrophe happens not due to omissions but through criminal indulgence. The two key issues that determine structural longevity are inherent strength and tolerance.

Collapse - Organisations and Individuals

Pancake – collapse is not confined to lifeless concrete structures alone. It happens with organisations and worse with individuals too. Why do organisations and individuals collapse?

Organisations collapse mainly due to the destructive dynamics at play within. Whatever it be, individually or collectively they erode the very structure from within. The process of decay normally provides adequate warning and visible symptoms. Left unattended, deterioration decimates.

Look around. We might find individuals reduced to wrecks. Most of them would blame someone or something, an agent of collapse, for the state they are in. It is believed that another individual or individuals, circumstances, an incident or incidents trigger the collapse of an individual.

But, is it really true?

Agents of Collapse

Perennially blind to good and deaf to truth, there are people specialised in scheming, finding faults and flaws in anyone or anything. There are others, perpetually perched on the seat of judgement and portraying themselves victims of injustice, perpetuating the same ill on others. With bizarre accusations and allegations, they seem capable of shaking up the very core of our belief systems, shattering our self-esteem and leaving us in ruins. Vindictive boss, cunning colleague, incompetent teammate, suspicious partner, scheming neighbour, ‘wolf in sheep’s cloth’ friend, disgruntled employee, the list can go on. They are often considered competent to initiate the collapse on an individual’s life. All of us would have come across or will come across such people some time in life.

They force us to ponder - Why do they behave the way they do? Why are they what they are?

Why They Are What They Are?

Inadequacies and insecurities dictate an individual's behaviour. In some of us, these only assume situational dominance and therefore are fleeting and temporary but in many, the impact may be overwhelming. In such cases inadequacies and insecurities are so entrenched that it becomes their very trait and controls everything they think, speak or do. Childhood trauma, abused adolescence, long exposure to anguish, anxiety and helplessness, if internalised, especially during the growing phases, play a significant role in deciding how an individual perceives and therefore pursues life. The resultant loss of self-esteem and deep- seated suspicion in inter personal relationship permeates every thought and action of the individual. Normalised in traumatic existence, such individuals find it easy to inflict the same injuries on others. It is natural for them to do so because they are merely re-enacting the very scenes that they once lived through.  

However, it is up to the recipient to determine the nature of relationship offered. Only if the recipient accepts the negative stimulus and responds in the same manner, the acts and actors find resonance. The interpersonal connect then assumes a negative hue and continues to spiral down. There is hope if one is unwilling to partner the act. It is the responsibility and well within the means of the recipient to alter the dimensions of the transaction.

It is only when we abdicate this responsibility, others can entrap us amongst their plummeting debris and initiate our collapse.

It is easy to hand over the reins of our life to others and blame them for the mess we find ourselves in. Irrespective of ‘why they are, what they are’ it is often the individual himself who becomes the agent of collapse.

Preventing Pancake – Collapse

Solid foundation, sturdy columns and strong beams define lasting structures. In personal life, value systems become the foundation, enduring belief-in-self, the columns and positive attitude, the beams. Shifting sands and fickle minds seldom serve as good foundations. Rooted in good and continually refined for the better, value systems ensure well mended foundation. Knowledge and competence enhance self-belief. Continually enriching knowledge and transforming it to competence strengthens self-belief. Positive attitude provides the cantilever through which an individual reaches out to the world and lets the world come in.

Getting Out of the Rubble

Breach in defences occur even in the best held forts. These can be plugged only through continuous scrutiny and timely repairs. However, hard one may try, one will have to deal with people filled with negativity, setbacks and failures. There would be times, one feels losing out and even going down under. It is then, that one doubts one’s own worth, questions the relevance of value systems nurtured and the manner in which one handles life. Then, it serves well to be reminded that no defence is good enough, unless tested, mended and restored.

Flashes of self-doubt must never the allowed to linger for long. Very much like clearing the debris in a pancake-collapse, it is important to start clearing issues from the latest and steadily progress to the oldest. The search for reasons and repairs would be painstaking and time-consuming. Yet, it should not stop till the core issue is identified and addressed. If need be one should not hesitate to seek professional help. After all, lying deep under rubbles, one needs to be extricated by rescuers.

Being What We Must Be

Life is nothing but a story. How interesting and impactful our story must be, is a decision that we have to make. Choice between scripting “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing" or “leaving footprints on the sands of time” is left to us. Regardless of situations, it is left to us to decide what must be and to endeavour being what we must be.

"There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and in one-word, whatever affairs are our own”[1]. If an individual concentrates on strengthening the structures and continually strive for betterment, external threats, however, severe cannot inflict any substantial damage. It is then we become what we must be.

[1] Enchiridion; Epictetus“