American Chop Suey Syndrome

 "I am ready. Let us go," said my wife when I reached home from the office. It was a 'half day' in the office and I did not have to return to work. We had decided the previous day itself that we would be eating out that noon.

Tezpur in 1987 was not like what it is now. There were not many eating places to choose from. We reached Tezpur only a few months before and had not yet explored the place. I also had not received much PCK (Previous Course Knowledge) about the place. PCK, in the army, refers to the inputs including notes, old question-papers and other tips, normally a senior gives to the junior in the same regiment or unit, about a training course he or she had attended. Over the course of time PCK extended its reach and now covers almost everything that one passed on to a new arrival or junior in the regiment or unit. Obviously, not many in the unit had gone out to eat. There were reasons. Officers and their families mostly went out in the evenings after office hours and came back late after dinner. The law and order situation prevailing then was not considered safe enough for evening outings. Moreover, Tezpur was away from the unit. 

Mobile Phones and Google Maps were not even distant dreams those days. With absolutely no PCK in hand, the only other way to find a good restaurant was to actually try out each one physically. Driven by hunger and not one to upset my lady, I decided to explore. It was also my first trip out to the town. I had just my sense of direction and the will to persevere to help. I kicked my Royal Enfield bullet to life and set out with my wife and child. Tezpur town was a good half an hour's drive. We drove through the empty road, reached the town and looked around. We couldn't find any 'good looking' places to eat in. With hunger pangs taking over, I homed on to a small little place where a bright board hanging outside said in English, "Chinese food". 

I stopped my bike and asked the guy, sitting outside the rickety restaurant, if they served lunch. The guy was very friendly. He called us right inside and seated us. We were the only ones. We were very hungry. The fastest he could give was a plate of 'Hakka' noodles. We ordered a plate to quell our hunger. We love trying out new dishes. We asked him what he could make special for us. 

He suggested that we try American Chop suey. I had not heard of this dish before and the name sounded intriguing enough to be experimented with. It was ironic that the two sworn class enemies, capitalists and the communists, came together to make something edible.  Both of us had never tried it before. We placed the order for the first plate of American Chop Suey of our lives. It had soft noodles , topped with fried noodles and poured over it was a rich tomato sauce. over it rested an egg bulls eye, perfectly done. We both fell in love with the rich sweet, sour and filling concoction. That was in 1987. Ever since, whenever we go to a restaurant that serves Chinese fare, we order a plate of American Chop Suey. 

It has been 36 years! We have tried American Chop Suey at countless restaurants all over India. We tried it in Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia where I thought I could get authentic American Chop suey. We  ordered it even in America. But not one has ever measured up anywhere near the American Chop Suey*, we ate in that little wayside eating place that day. Our children have grown up. They now treat us to dinners. When they take us to restaurants where Chinese fare is served they invariably order American Chop Suey hoping that we will, one day, find something like our first plate of American Chop Suey. 

Yesterday, my wife and I were sitting and enjoying a bowl of Thukpa she had prepared. I brought up the topic of 'that plate'  of American Chop Suey. “That American Chop Suey is a huge lesson for life," I told her. She looked at me quizzingly. I reiterated, "Yes. There is a huge lesson for life in our search for the ‘that’ American Chop suey". In fact it is the ultimate tool to  understand problems in personal life and interpersonal relationships. I call it the American Chop Suey Syndrome**. Let me explain.

The American Chop Suey we ate in a roadside ramshackle restaurant in 1987 might or might not have been the ultimate.  It tasted great and we were hooked on, for life.  Why? There are physiological, psychological and emotional reasons

We were very hungry. In a place we were not familiar with and struggling to find a place worthy to eat, we found a place with something to eat. Our physiological needs were immediately and completely met. It also addressed our fears and state of uncertainty. Our psychological needs were addressed. The person was very friendly and helpful. He saw to it that he first gave something to eat and then took time to make that chop suey. Our emotional needs of being specially cared for were also met. It was the first time we tasted a chop suey, adding  novelty to the experience.  Solace from hunger, secure feeling in a  place where we were total strangers, a sense of being cared for and the novelty of the dish created a halo around ‘that plate  of American Chop Suey’ making that experience uniquely beautiful and unforgettably tasty. Even today, it remains our most beautiful dining experience. That, to us, also remains the benchmark for dining experience. 

Though we haven't found ‘that very same’ Chop Suey, we have enjoyed excellent Chinese fares including American Chop Suey at many places. Comparison is inevitable but we haven't allowed comparison to mess up our dining experiences. We have come to terms, but the search continues. Allowing that one unique experience, in the distant past to mess up with the present is the most potent prescription for disaster. This is what actually happens in our daily lives and in our interpersonal relationships.

We know a few people, each of them amazing in their own ways, but having chosen to live in shells of misery of their own making. They are in perpetual search of that ‘American Chop Suey’, sitting at the dining table called life and messing up the current dining experience called ‘present’ paving way for a terrible experience, called tomorrow. They have chosen to walk forward looking backwards. Fall is inevitable. 

Once we experience something  good or bad we cannot wish it away or forget it, however hard we try. It just remains there, sometimes in the conscious and mostly in our subconscious. Interestingly, the recordings of the subconscious mind predominantly influences our decision making, our ability to process  and experience the present and plan our future. 

Many love affairs that culminate in marriages are potentially vulnerable to American Chop suey Syndrome. The partners during the novelty phase of courtship subconsciously record unique experiences and establish benchmarks for the other. Everything done later is vetted against the Chop Suey benchmark. Unfortunately the reality of life is starkly different from fantasies of romance but comparisons do not cease to exist. The oft heard phrase, “he was not like that” or “she was not like that '' are classic symptoms of the person suffering from ‘American Chop Suey Syndrome’. Sadly, longer the courtship, more likely the syndrome and more severe the impact.  Many courtships that do not eventually end up in permanence might also have been afflicted by American Chop Suey Syndrome to start with. Novelty wears off first, followed by dilution in emotional support, deterioration of psychological congruence and lastly physiological necessities. This order of degradation actually allows people to linger on in misery of dysfunctional relations longer than they should be.

It is not only confined to love affairs, marital relations or interpersonal relationships. It wreaks silent devastation in intrapersonal affairs. Secretive, selfish, insecure, violent, perverted people and liars are likely to be severely afflicted with American Chop Suey Syndrome. Most of them are likely to have suffered some childhood trauma creating indelible imprints that become benchmarks against which the individual evaluates every conversation, activity or incident. Responses from that person are aimed at addressing the need. They make a shell of misery for themselves and spread misery for others too.

interestingly, all of us do suffer from varying levels of American Chop Suey Syndrome. It is natural and to some extent required too. Most of us will turn around and deny its presence.  Denials apart, it is for us to decide whether we should be  sitting at the table of life and lament the shortcomings of the fare called today against what we wanted or just enjoy what we have. 

I enjoy my today, the way it is. I am also in search of a better tomorrow. I am also in search of 'that' elusive plate of American Chop Suey.

*With all respects to all the chefs who prepare American chop suey all over the world, my article is

in no way an insinuation or insult  to your capabilities. It is a personal experience and a lesson that

I have drawn for myself and one that i constantly tell people whom i train or help with to deal with

problems in their life

**This is purely my observation. It has NO scientific study to back up. You may look around and

decide for yourself. I didn't find any reference to the “American Chop Suey Syndrome’ on the net.

Kahi Pe Nigahen Kahi Pe Nishana

 Opportunity or Crisis?

"In the midst of every crisis lies great opportunity" is a quote often attributed  to Albert Einstein. In the age of social media where  fake news descends on us by the minute like hurricanes, truth is the casualty. Anybody can fearlessly write anything and attribute it to anyone famous or remotely famous. It is immaterial whether Einstein actually said so or not, but I have been given this alluring piece of advice in countless motivational sermons I have listened to. It is only fair that I in turn give this powerful and motivating piece of advice to my children. I have used it in the many training sessions I took up. I have done it without attribution. Well; it's a great piece of advice to receive in a situation of crisis. I am having a rethink.

Recently, I was driving from Kottayam, my home town, to Cochin. At every prominent junction, over the 60 kilometre route, I saw hoardings and advertisements of agencies inviting prospective candidates to go abroad for studies. Each board screamed "opportunity to study abroad". Ironically few boards were even nailed upside down. Was this shower of opportunities an ominous sign of a crisis? 

Figures

Kerala, ‘God’s own Country’, boasts of almost 100% literacy. A survey on the state of higher education in Kerala was conducted in 2020 under the aegis of the Kerala State Higher Education Council. its findings were made public in June 2021. Table No 2 of the survey report reveals that Kerala has 18 Universities and 1504 colleges. It included 701 Arts and Science Colleges, 167 Engineering Colleges, 102 Medical Colleges that include Allopathy, Ayurveda, Dental, Homeo and Allied Health Science colleges, 5 Agricultural colleges, 4 Fine Arts Colleges and 177 Paramedical Colleges, which include Nursing, Paramedical sciences, Pharmacy, Optometry, Medical Laboratory Technology and Pharmaceutical Science institutes. Nearly 13 lakh students were reported to study in these institutions. 

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Many who do not take admission to colleges within Kerala go their way to other Indian states to study. A significant number also goes abroad to study. According to people involved in the ‘study abroad’ business, approximately 30,000 children from Kerala have gone abroad to study recently. In the absence of authentic data in the public domain, the numbers might not be ‘the truth, nothing but the truth.’ The cumulative numbers might anyway be much larger. Reports suggest that students from Kerala can be found in 54 countries, their migration facilitated by student recruitment agencies or educational consultants, most of them without any government accreditation or approval. Even Curacao, a small Dutch Caribbean country, that is a landmass of just 444 square kilometers with a population of 1.5 Lakh people, hosts Malayali students.  War in Ukraine and COVID breakout in Wuhan troubled Kerala because there was a sizable Malayalee population studying there. Why is the Malayalee youth running out? Are Malayalees looking for better things to study?

Pursuit

Is the exodus because of inadequate seats for studies? A prominent online news portal reported in Dec 2022 that more than 23,000 seats for B Tech were lying vacant in various engineering colleges under the Kerala Technological University. It also reported large vacancies, unfilled seats, in the arts and science colleges also. It was also reported that many self-financing colleges were willing to reduce the fees just to fill vacant seats. Certainly, the rush out of Kerala is not because of unavailability of avenues for studies.

Is the outbound flight driven by pursuit of knowledge and skills? If Malayalee youth felt that the courses available in Kerala were not good enough they could easily enrol themselves for better courses outside the state, within India, maybe at slightly higher costs but far lesser than what they spend abroad. Many do that. The best colleges under Delhi University are getting more Malayalees every year. The truth is that most of the students going abroad to study are taking up nondescript courses and subjects. Such subjects and courses are available in Kerala at a fraction of the cost incurred by parents of the child going abroad for studies. Then there is something else. 

Erosion

Some people say that students take admission outside Kerala because the examination system is more lenient and offers convenience for those not academically brilliant. The rising number of students from Kerala securing seats in Delhi University undergraduate programs and that too in prestigious colleges that demand very high and stiff cutoffs weaken this argument. Moreover this argument holds water if everyone is rushing to a particular university, considered to have porous systems of examination and evaluation. It is not the case. The rush is mostly to many different self-financing institutions in Tamil nadu and Karnataka, which accept low scorers from Kerala at higher financial contributions. Though some of these colleges are reputed, most are not. Many children taking up technical courses in these colleges never end up completing or passing the course. They at best waste their parents money and get something worthless in the competitive job market.  

Those in power in Kerala certainly are aware of the poor quality of research and institutional inability and hesitation to upgrade  academic infrastructure. To them it doesn't matter that the majority of educational institutions in Kerala are not accredited by the National Assessment and Accreditation Council (NAAC). Militant student unions have played their part in eroding academics and the education system beyond immediate redemption. What happens to the others doesn't seem to bother them  because their future seems assured and taken care of. String of exposes where student union leaders and party members have been caught  manipulating the system to get certificates have come to light. Erosion of the system from within is complete. 

Those championing the local mother tongue and localised syllabus to be mandated in the education system anyway send their children abroad. They do not want their children to be limited by local education. It is practical wisdom and not double speak. Deliberately turning blind eye to systemic flaws, pretending that nothing is wrong and turning against those pointing out deficiencies, letting loose the weight of the government machinery with all its vicious might is an effective and powerful political weapon. It envelops the society with fear and helps cover up. However, Kerala is not the only state suffering in this regard. But why is the youth running away to study abroad?

Is it a case of “Kahi Pe Nigahen Kahi Pe Nishana?*

Nigahen aur Nishane

A close look at where they go to study may reveal something! Canada, The UK, Australia and New zealand are their most favourite destinations. Some are heading for Europe too. This segment is now understood to be growing fast.  According to people in the know of things,  youth is not headed out in pursuit of academic qualifications but in search of ways to migrate. Incidentally, these countries allow Indian students to stay back as full time workers for two to three years once they qualify from institutions there.  Industrious nature of the people involved normally culminates in them obtaining ‘permanent resident’ status in the host country, a migration of sorts, a shortcut. 

In essence everybody going abroad wants to get out of Kerala and India. Hardly anybody comes back to Kerala for a job with a foreign degree. Those who come back are normally only those who had gone to study medicine, because they have to pass an examination in India to be part of the medical system in India. The others coming back to Kerala after studies are the ones who have failed to secure a ‘permanent resident’ permit.

More out of despair and less out of desire, children going to study abroad find ways and means legal or illegal to hang on somehow. It is because there are inadequate jobs and shrinking avenues for job creation within Kerala. Despite all the claims that the government makes, people habituated to fruits of militant trade unionism continue to bleed industrial establishments. Once known for quality, the state’s education system has suffered a serious blow to its credibility, due to  misdeeds of  political cadres. Those who can afford to therefore find escape routes to get out and never come back if they can manage to. The exodus of qualified nurses from Kerala to all over the world and the ease with which they secure permanent resident status there, strengthens this argument. Many nurses working in the gulf are slowly moving out to Europe, America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.  It is only a matter of time before the entire family of the nurse migrates to the new country. ‘Study abroad’ is just another way to gain a foothold in a distant land.

Costs

Nothing comes free, not even spirituality. There is a financial and social cost to the phenomenon of children going abroad to study.  Parents work abroad or within India to raise the money required.  According to data available Indian students spent over 30 billion dollars in 2019 for education abroad. This is expected to rise to 80 billion by 2024. Many parents feel that the risk and effort is worth it. Such migration commences with heavy financial cost. Students, actually parents, most of them pledging all their immovable assets, end up taking large sums, reportedly starting from Rs 8 lakh to 45 lakhs per person for meeting the expenses. Statistics released by the State Level Bankers Conference (SLBC) reveal that the total outstanding education loans in banks in Kerala  have gone up from Rs 9841 Crores in Mar 20119 to Rs 11,061 in Mar 2022. Interestingly barring a few stray cases everyone repays. Unpayable debt culminates in human tragedy called suicides.

In Kerala the social cost is visible and exasperatingly aggravating. Many houses built with hard earned money are lying locked because the owners have now become permanent residents abroad. Clusters of such houses in some areas, some housing old, ailing and hopelessly lonely  parents hoping to die sooner than later, have started haunting those with conscience. The current rulers in the state have found an opportunity in this crisis, otherwise a situation that is emerging as a human tragedy. They decided to levy additional tax on locked houses. Someone seems to have infused some sense of sanity and they have retracted their steps.

Kerala Story 

This is not just a phenomenon confined to Kerala. Punjab is already  struggling with the social cost of mass scale migration. Andhra and Telangana are also in hot pursuit. Tamil Nadu will catch up very soon. According to data available, US border patrol authorities are said to have intercepted more than 4,297 Indians crossing the Mexican border in two months in 2022.  There are more than 34,230 Asylum cases pending in the American immigration courts in October- November. According to statements made by the Minister concerned to the parliament, a large number of people are giving up Indian citizenship in favour of other countries, the figures clearly showing an increasing trend. Thus, the student exodus may not be a purely a ‘Kerala Story’. Kerala could be a small part of the great Indian story, a story that many who know may not want to tell,  and the masses who should know, remain  ignorant lost happily in the Euphoria of excavation of the past.

Individuals might succeed in their pursuit of their Nishane with Nigahen elsewhere. But, if rulers have their Nigahen elsewhere the society may miss the Nishane.

* ‘Nigahen’ in Hindi  means vision or sight and ‘Nishane’ in Hindi means aim or  target. The reference is to a famous Hindi song by Shamshad Begum for from the movie CID released in 1956