Newport in Rhode Island is a beautiful place. Situated by the Atlantic Ocean it offers visitors with frames for perfect pictures. It also houses some stunning mansions. I had never heard of Newport before, but was the recipient of the large heartedness of Issac Simon, my brother-in-law who not only suggested the trip but even offered to take us on the eighty-five mile drive to the mansion town. The drive, one of the many such, he graciously hosted so far, was beautiful from the word go with the fall painting the entire route with colours, I had seen never before.
With tickets in hand, we actually walked into a piece of American history. Ahead of its times, each room stood out well appointed carefully planned and exquisitely executed. In fact, everything about the mansion was bathed in audacious opulence and grandeur, all funded by slices from the immense riches the individual had amassed over his lifetime. We spent almost three hours within, what was once, someone’s summer house, admiring each inch of space and every piece on display. To top it all, the Atlantic Ocean right outside the mansion premises gave it a touch of magic. I walked out of the mansion in awe of the owners and headed for the blue expanse of Atlantic ocean.
The wind was picking up and I started feeling cold
even through the bright sun. As I gathered my jacket closer, and turned around
to look at the grand mansion, a sudden thought occurred to me; how are their descendants living now? Are they
still rich and living like their ancestors ?
One of the first things I did, on my return, was to search
for details. I was surprised to find that the wealth they had once amassed,
barring few patches of comfort, had all but been either diluted or squandered away. What a tragedy! What about other rich families of the yore?
I searched for other known rich families across the world.
The story wasn’t much different. Almost all of them had their wealth either
completely wiped out or they were just pale shadows of their glorious past. It then occurred to me that it was not just rich
families! Great empires, kingdoms and organisations were no different!
Is descent then the inevitable
next, after the ascent?
I recall my elders talking of the four-stage cycle of ‘rags, riches and back'. Depending on the diligence exercised by individuals in the family or those in control, the cycle may gather or lose momentum. However, the cycle, according to the elders, is inevitable.
Starting from abject poverty, the
poor (‘Daridran', in my native language Malayalam) spends his life in misery.
His children having seen, experienced and driven by poverty dream of better life. They, with fire in their bellies, strive with
all their might to change their state of existence. They essentially live out
their life in hard-work accumulating wealth slowly. They are mostly misers (‘Lubdhan’)
and seldom spend anything on themselves.
Having seen what the parents have gone through and inheriting the seed capital and better footing, a lubdhan's children continue to work hard and soon become rich (Dhanikan). Born into affluence and plenty, children of the dhanikan have no clue of the hard ways the family had come through and therefore have no qualms about splurging and squandering their inheritance. This is the generation of the prodigals (Dhoorthan).
With
floodgates open, wealth flows out of family vaults and soon they fall
on hard times completing the cycle. Children of the Dhoorthan inherit empty
vaults and debts and soon are divested of anything that is left over. They soon
become Daridrans! The cycle is completed.
Despite this universal truth being known by everyone, the cycle continues to play out, day in and day
out across the world. Each stage, however, could accommodate more than one generation depending
on diligence applied.
The same principle applies to emperors, kings and family run
institutions. We have learnt of ancient civilizations and their magnificent
existence. What happened to them? Why did they vanish? Did this cycle-rule apply
to them too?
A close look at our self, our family or even the
organization that we work for could reveal the stage we are at in the cycle. It
would then be natural to ask; can we
prevent the downward arm of the cycle from befalling upon us and our family?
To my mind, it all depends on how much of our hunger for
growth we can pass on to our next generation and how much we have insulated them
from realities of life. In the garb of making things easy for our progenies, we
tend to insulate them from the rough and tough of life and end up making them
unfit and inadequate to face challenges of life. We end up extinguishing the
fire within their bellies rather than fuelling it. Our misplaced love end up depriving them
of opportunities to attempt, fail, learn and then relaunch themselves. In other
words the current generation has a strong influence in what the next is up to.
Most of us, irrespective of where we are in the cycle, believe
that we have come up the hard way. We tend to exaggerate our sufferings and
discount what we got. Many believe that it is their divine duty to provide their
progenies with whatever they were denied or couldn’t afford. In the process they create the next generation
that, might or might not, have an idea of the cost or price of their possessions
but they certainly have no clue about its value. Even
those in the splurge mode do find ways to lament their lack of avenues and
resources.
It is for us to decide weather to accelerate the growth
phase or let a freefall occur. But first let us check where we are? That calls
for real introspection.
Well said..introspection is key. A true win would be to figure how to imbue the same in future and current generations..
ReplyDeleteEverybody wants to pass on success to the next generation but my question remains ; "Am I responsible to ensure success of my next generation and if so how do I do it?"
DeleteIn fact should I be doing it atall?
Most of us live and die breaking our backs hoping to make life easy for our successors and in the bargain forget to live for ourselves.
While inculcating virtues and values must be the norm in upbringing spoon feeding should be a strict no
Very true. We just have to look around to see the sad state of some of the previous high flying corporations. As corporations grow the bureaucracy grows with it and they lose the nimbleness that brought them there in the first place.
ReplyDeleteGood evening sir
ReplyDeleteA keen observation, though evident with numerous examples in almost every person’s life, but rarely pondered upon.
I have given the same examples to my children and other family members, including my brothers and sisters, in laws and their children, from time to time.
Your finesse in expression adds more clarity and affirms my own observations.
Fond regards
Its all about being truthful - to oneself and to the children. Many parents try to project a false image of themselves - being saner than what they actually were in their childhood and youth. Children hate to hear all the sob stories parents narrate about their childhood - as to they did not have all the goodies of the day, no cellphone etc. Remember that your parents also reeled out similar stories and you hated then in your childhood and youth.
ReplyDeleteAllow the children to be children. Let them grow into an adult on their terms. Make them capable of taking decisions by making them part of decision making at home like the colour of the walls of the home, menu for the day out, the movie to be watched and so on.
Please read the article below
https://rejinces.net/2021/07/09/catchyong/
Pretention isn't permanent. Training or conditioning our children to face reality of life is the true childrearing
Deletehttps://rejinces.net/2021/07/09/catchyong/
ReplyDeleteWe are product of the environment and geography(location) plays a big role in how one shapes up
ReplyDeleteSuperb. Hope, you will come up such valuable articles in the days to come. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteRags to riches and back to rags are the most heard stories around the world...some do bunce back,like Amitabh Bachan who crashed in late '90s and later bounced back with the KBC program,,,but Atlas Ramachandran never cud bounce back,since his crash was very hard fall....its said,that his most trusted Mgr jewllery shops cheated him of his riches and even his son went off to USA....finally except his wife and daughter was by his side,in his last moments!!Very sad stae bcos he was a do gooder man with goodness at heart aand helped all and sundry...again I am not sure,what karma affects whom...there is nothng like Karma.In fact,I am not sure,if introspection really helps at a belated stage.
ReplyDeleteThank you. His case only proves how fast wealth can be taken away. Introspection whichever point it may be , can help
DeleteReally an excellent and very thoughtful article. It is a cycle of the four stages as pointed out, and practically exists in the life, only observed when brought out by people like you sir. Thanks a lot.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much
DeleteWe are responsible for the type of next generation handed over. It is always tricky to give them values or comforts because a lot how they receive it.
ReplyDeleteFinally everyone lives his Karma.
Great thoughts
Thank you very much
Delete