DO NOT CROSS THE LINE

 

A few days back, I was driving home from the neighbouring city. Seeing the painstakingly laid and beautifully crafted white line continuously snaking along like an endless work of art on the road, I asked my wife, “Saw that line?” We were negotiating a blind curve on the road. Both sides of the road had white lines clearly showing the edges. The broad line with reflectors in the middle of the road was meant to separate the traffic, and drivers are expected to keep their vehicles within their side of the line. Roads in this part of the country have many curves and gradients. They are well-marked and take on a high density of traffic. Almost all trucks on Indian roads have their rears marked with “Blow Horn” along with other funny and sometimes philosophical quotes. Unlike in the West, where honking is considered uncivil, here, signage asking drivers to ‘blow horn’ can be found along the road, across the country. 

Before my wife could answer, a car, without any warning, overtook us from the right, entering the lane meant for traffic from the opposite side. All of a sudden, a truck appeared from the opposite lane. The car swung wildly left, got in front of us, got through the space that I involuntarily made by braking hard, and sped away as if nothing had happened. The white line was meant to reduce such surprises and prevent accidents on the road, guiding law-abiding citizens to their intended destinations safely. 


For whom do these lines snake all the way?

Most people couldn’t care less. Oblivious to the presence of the lines on the road, either out of ignorance or on purpose, they violate its sanctity with impunity. In a society afflicted by an unprecedented epidemic called fearlessness of the law, those who voluntarily adhere to their lines and lanes are part of a species fast going extinct. The make and size of the vehicle, the importance one assumes for oneself, and the assured immunity from consequences add to the recklessness of the driver. Such people chart their own rules and routes. Everybody else on the road is nothing but a minion, an infringement on the road space that they consider their sovereign right. They expect others to scurry out of the road before they become menacing. If you happen to be driving up against a person who has crossed over to the oncoming traffic because it is his right of might and considers the line non-existent, you have the option of surrendering your space on the road, squeezing your vehicle and yourself. If your response is not good enough, do not expect kindness and civility from such an uncouth mighty. The two-wheelers are no less mighty. They are the acrobats of the road and add another dimension to the ordeal. Atop the mean machines that refuse to stay controlled in unsteady hands are angry, impatient, and adrenaline-driven people, some of them on induced euphoria. 

Most of those who flout rules assume immunity because they are influential, hold clout through political and social connections, or have money to spare. They all come together to make driving a challenge for those unlike them. If everybody involved in road incidents is documented, they could either themselves become statistical data for fatal and non-fatal road accidents or make others count. Essentially, these are all clear-cut violations of the law. When people generally break the law, assured of no adverse consequences, it means that law enforcement has become weak, blind and disproportionate. When socio-economic status and political clout or other influences can dictate truth, it means that the society, devoid of conscience, is plunging headlong into lawlessness. Road traffic is one of the most telltale signs of how civilised an area or society is.  

Like the safety lines on the roads, there is a set of safety lines we draw subconsciously to live with consciously.

These are lines that we draw when we interact with others. We draw these invisible yet powerful lines around us, different for each individual we interact with, to keep them at the distance we want them to be. It shapes our safety zones, dictates the proximity we allow others, and defines the ‘thus-far and no further’ limits of ‘myspace’ boundaries. In fact, it dictates almost everything about interpersonal relationships. We draw these lines through our words, deeds, and gestures. These invisible lines are so powerful that they influence even our body language and responses. Those who intrude make us uncomfortable. Infringement of our imaginary lines could eventually precipitate discord. Such infringement could be deliberate or incidental. 

When people cross our lines, oblivious to their presence, they are taking us for granted. Some of them assume that they have the liberty to do so. In such cases, it is important that we immediately make it known that they have crossed the line. Failure to correct the infringement immediately could normalise such trespasses. The onus of such correction rests with us. Some people cross our lines deliberately. It may seem just uncivil in the beginning, but that is mostly a character flaw. They may not always come across as violent or abusive people. Some of them sweet-talk their intrusive coercion. Either way, it is intimidation. They are dangerous and should be avoided. Personal relationships, where people blatantly infringe or disrespect the sanctity of these lines, are bound to turn toxic and suffocating, sooner or later.

Life could be beautifully different if only people did not ‘cross the line’. But nothing in life is ideal.  We would easily know when others cross our lines. The problem is how to let the other person know that the line has been trespassed. 

What do you suggest?

Please post your response in the comment section. 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. You have touched on an extremely relevant and important issue. Analogy of the lines on road and our relationship brings clarity on it . In both the evolving social fabric
    needs analysis. Crossing of lines in both are toxic and at times fatal (not necessarily physical). The answers lie in your maturity to respond to such transgressions
    Interesting read as always look fwd to more

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sir, the correlation between the lines on road and in relationshios could not have been brought out better. The relevance and understanding of the clear boundaries in life is very important for a healthy relationship.
    Appreciate your style of writing.

    Aswal

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent post, and these days, not crossing that line needs enormous self restraint and respect for the overall societal norms, be in personal life or professional life. It seems to be becoming an exception that a norm unfortunately!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Absolutely Sir, the relevance to understanding clear boundaries is often understated.
    Appreciate your style of writing.

    Regards

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well written General. But after 60 we have to give more space for the new Gen. Otherwise we may have to suffer.Lines are not fixed. It has to move sideways according to the person on the other side

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that we are above 60. But to accept that morals have shifted to the level that crossing no-go lines pains.

      Delete

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