Saturday 24 September 2022

Of Boundaries, Barriers and the Forbidden Peach


COVID, lockdowns and the consequent uncertainty ensured that the journey I planned happened two years late. On the 15th September, finally I managed to fly out to fulfil the last item on the bucket list written way back in 1999. It’s also time to draw up on a fresh one soon.

Jet lag and the associated fatigue is no match to time zone induced insomnia. Body and mind gets into an invisible conflict where there are no winners. However hard I tried, my body clock just wouldn’t align itself to the new geographical time zone. I was left with no other option but wait for the daylight to break.

Patience a virtue, for most is nothing but helplessness. Armed with the newly acquired virtue, I decided to walk out to explore the neighbourhood.

Hardly had I commenced my walk, something strange caught my attention. There were many beautiful houses in the area, not far from each other. However, the conspicuous absence of boundary walls and fencing between them baffled me. The landscape was distinctively different from what I had experienced all my life. Properties without boundaries?

Native to a community that prides itself in making houses and enclosing it within boundary walls and fencing, the sight was nothing short of a cultural shock. The entire colony barring just one house, had neither fencing nor boundary walls separating one property from the other. On enquiring about the ‘ odd man out' I learned that the owner had raised the fencing to ensure that his pet and small children don’t trespass into other’s property.

 Considered a highly competitive and capitalist society where everyone is believed to be strongly individualistic and known to zealously guard their privacy, every property should have been well-fenced off from each other. This colony was different. May be others won’t be like this; I thought.

A drive around the area was good enough for realisation to sink in that across the landscape the story was same. There were no boundary walls or fencing that separated one property from the other.

Walking around the house that I was staying I noticed two pear plants laden with fruits. Some had fallen to the ground. My first question to my host was; can I pluck one? His answer was that we could not because that was in the neighbour’s property. Small things but great lesson!

Clearly everyone around knew their boundaries and never crossed the barrier they had imposed on themselves to infringe upon somebody else’s property. Truly impressive.

 Later in the day I took a drive out to the local grocery store . I was impressed with the manner in which common people conducted themselves on the road driving their cars. At every crossing, traffic light or not, without fail people actually stopped their cars just because a ‘Stop’ sign was painted on the road! They looked for other traffic and gave way to the person with the right of way. At many places I saw them being extra polite giving way to someone they thought deserved priority. How could I be not impressed?

On the few occasions I went for a walk, I was greeted by individuals, total strangers, whom I crossed. That too was a novel experience to someone who crossed many in such walks back home. Most refused to return a smile or acknowledge my presence. It was not that everybody here was polished civilized and good. But those who didn’t smile or wish were mostly exceptions rather than norm.

The boundaries between right and wrong seemed to be distinctly clear and deeply ingrained in almost everybody. Societies where distinctions between right and wrong, privileges and obligations, rights and duties, entitlements and expectations are internalized and practiced, there maybe no need to erect boundary walls or create unsurmountable barriers between neighbours, people and citizens. In such societies, people themselves set barriers for themselves and do not cross it.

They don’t need to blow their trumpet about how great they are. It just shows.

I have a lot to learn. I have more to internalise. May be I can start doing it myself. I am eager to get home. My new bucket list, however small it would be, considering the residual existence, would be significantly be influenced by what I learned here. It may or may not make any significant dent but my earnestness will not be insignificant.


26 comments:

  1. A perfect example of Maslows theory showing the evolutional development of society.

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  2. Jaihind Sir,
    1. The urge to compliment on expressing such simple and genuine observations is deep ,so please accept it...As usual a beautifully packaged article in true "JACOB" style.

    2. As I read through ,i was reminded of my similiar observations when I visited USA about 5 yrs ago.Views on boundaries,right to way and the respect to the correct way of living was simply unbelievable.Seriously a lot to imbibe to be a member of the earth society

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    Replies
    1. Trust and respect is the key. It's a civilisational issue.

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  3. Good observation, thanks for sharing Binoy

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  4. A nice article which took lot of time for me to complete the reading. Worth reading in every respect. Congratulations. Keep it up🙏🙏🙏

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  5. In India, we do not trust our neighbour - that's why huge boundary walls. Most civil suits in all Indian courts are between siblings claiming the other sibling's property which neither earned - it was from their father or grandfather.

    Recently my Indian Army Veteran friend asked me as to why we do not have boundary walls. It is for the people walking on the streets to enjoy your garden.

    Fencing in our city is permitted only in the backyard and are open construction, which means at least one-third of the fence must be see through. That is mainly for the wild animals to pass through.

    Further, one cannot build a fence on City property, highways or road allowances. The fence cannot be made of barbed wire or any other hazardous material.

    Now you know what happens in the West??????

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    Replies
    1. Each society zeros onto practices that enhance individual security. We feel threatened - may be.
      May be it's time to start loving one's neighbour

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  6. Perfectly right you're General! We're bestowed with 5 sensory inputs. I'll add 3 more, acquired & 'matured' over the years: mind, soul, conscience. We glance (don't see, very rarely OBSERVE), hear (cursory, careless, program deaf to all/few, but never LISTEN etc.
    Orderliness, systematic, discipline are learnt. "Child is the father of man"; habits die hard with many. Childish traits too appear to few. Yet, it's strange that we go by/comply with peer/social norms outside our homes. None taught us to drive carelessly, drinker, overspeed, overtake. Still we do. None asked to litter, spit on the road, still, some/most do "പിള്ളേർക്ക്/ഇവിടെ ഇത്രയും മതി " (it's okay here)!
    We deliberately permit us to be mediocre with "deliberate consent "
    In short, we're living through 'anomie' (normless society)
    Let's go back to drawing board & choose what we like most: re-design the world

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    Replies
    1. To every man his fears!
      Thank you sir for the comments

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  7. abejacob3@gmail.com25 September 2022 at 08:56

    Civility in human behaviour is expected in that society. But it is easy to practice civilised behaviour in a group of like-minded people. Response to uncivil conduct can also be equally ruthless by the enforcers in that society! So the 'boundaries' are set from inside and outside.

    Our society has to come a long way to improve our conduct on the road as a pedestrian or as a driver. Early lessons have to be imparted in our homes and schools, including driving schools. Boundaries have to be set from inside and outside.

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    Replies
    1. No boundaries can be barriers unless others respect it. Once we respect others truly, then boundaries may not be required

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  8. Good evening sir,

    My sincere complements to you for bringing out such virtues of value. Deep inside us, we all hugely value such virtues of human character, but we seldom find them and are conditioned to act otherwise.

    Similar is the case with our behaviour on roads. Wherever, there’s a railway crossing with the barrier down, we block the opposite lane, always and every time. Which causes avoidable delay and inconvenience to all.

    Going by the falling moral and behavioural values with every passing day. I believe it’s naive to even expect such transformation, as we stand today.

    Regards sir

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. Barriers and boundaries if we internalise ourselves then physical ones need not be erected by others.

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  9. Very Good Article Sir. It sheds light on an important thing which we seem to pay less attention to, especially these days. There was a time when children while growing up used to be given good moral teachings through their grandparents, parents and school etc. Nowadays cause of lack of proper attention, time and effort from parents side (mostly) children are getting deprived of this quintessential moral education. We just want to see our kids become toppers and less concerned about their moral education and upbringing.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for the response. To every man his consciousness!

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  10. Beautiful write up on Manmade boundaries. We, especially Indians make boundaries and walls because we are not sure about ourselves, what to talk about others. Fundamental to our dealings is dishonesty. Often we find, Honesty is lack of opportunity.
    Congratulations Sir for a Frank write up.

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    1. Thank you very much. Actually we need to set our boundaries that don't impinge on other's rights. But unfortunately it's become a norm norm for the society to follow a different route

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  11. Good observation and nicely presented. Best wishes.

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  12. Beautiful and eloquent observation . There are utopian neighborhoods in every country which one can imbibe . But in India if one talks about it , it would be termed as ' Virtue Signalling "

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    Replies
    1. I agree. To preach and not practice; it's snobbery or hypocrisy. But isn't that the norm now?

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  13. Jaihind sir, I had the similar experience in Russia. But why not in India. Well the answer may be in our history. We were subjugated for long, deprived of basic needs and thus the overpowering urge to quarantine all that is ours. I think its the legacy of colonial era and the sys which existed before that. Parr of evolving, I guess. A very nice write sir.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. We somehow seem to blame everybody else but us for all that we suffer from.

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