From Loneliness To Solitude : A Walk Away

 Choice and Consequence

Violence and depression are not symptoms of Covid. Yet as Covid spread, incidence of depression and domestic violence, reportedly flared across the world. Experts explain these behavioural changes as response to emerging uncertainties. It is said that, prolonged uncertainty triggers anxiety, helplessness and loneliness. Severity of these states depend upon the ability of an individual to handle situations. Human response to external events stream through a ‘thought -emotions- behaviour’ channel, the characteristics of which is primarily dictated by the ‘philosophy of life’ evolved over time and internalised.

Loneliness

Loneliness is a state of existence, where one feels alone and abandoned. An end-state of an event or events, real or perceived, loneliness is the beginning of retreat. It erodes self-esteem and aggravates the reinforcing cycle of anxiety and sense of loss. It decimates interpersonal connections forcing withdrawal into impenetrable cocoons. Loneliness, a silent devastating affliction, is the consequence of an individual’s choice. Though conceded to, brought upon and aggravated by oneself, loneliness is not always a voluntary act. Almost every human being would have experienced loneliness at some point in life. While most of us cope with it and emerge strong, some may require assistance. In fact many a boisterous acts and forced smiles could be masking loneliness.

Solitude

Solitude is the destination of an inward journey. Deliberate exclusion of external connect and noise facilitates the journey. Yogis have been known to distance themselves from the world in meditation to attain solitude. It is in solitude that we recognise our divine inner-self, gets acquainted with divinity and establish clutter free communication with the creator. Unlike loneliness that ebbs life away, solitude is an empowering act that can culminate in awakening and enlightenment. In solitude we are not alone.

We Are Not Alone

There is a beautiful poem titled “Footprints in the sand[1]” (Posters caption it ‘Footprints”) going around for decades, soothing nerves and motivating people.

The author[2] talks of a man’s dream in which “he was walking along a beach with God”. “As scenes of his life flash in the sky, he notices for each scene, footprints on the beach”, mostly, two sets, but at places just one. He ascribes the two, one to himself and the other to God. Corelating it with life, he realises that the single set of footprints related to the “very lowest and saddest times in his life”. He “questions” God as to “Why when I needed you most, you would leave me?”. God is said to have responded, “…during your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you”.

This moving story has been used by inspirational speakers, spiritual leaders, god-men and god-women to drive home the lesson, “we are not alone”.

Is that the only message?

Delve deeper, beyond the obvious and superficial, pearls of wisdom reveal themselves.

A Walk with God

The poem revolves around a man’s ‘walk and talk’ with the Creator. There is no one else on the beach, but that man and God talking to each other.

When a man believes that he has complete attention of God to himself, it is solitude in its pristine perfect form. Once a connect between the divine and mortal has been established, the mortal is awakened to inherent divinity and the divine, His mortal form. Walking shoulder to shoulder with divinity becomes as easy as a walk on the beach. Such a ‘walk together’ only can “leave footsteps on the sands of time”.. Predominantly, witnessed throughout the poem is the interdependence between Creator and creation. Solitude helps discover, define, sustain and nurture that inseparable relationship.

Divine Accountability

In the poem, man accuses God of desertion during bad times. It is almost as if God hitched a ride during good times and ditched before the storm. Silent but loud, is the fact that man does not acknowledge God’s role in good times. Accrediting himself with success, man accuses God for failures! Despite the ungratefulness, God lovingly replies to man’s accusations. The poem leaves it to the readers to accept or reject God's commitment in seeing us through turbulent times. Subtle but strong, it reminds us how we take divine assistance for granted, attribute success to our abilities and blame Him for our inadequacies.

Habitual of approaching God with wish lists, our communication with Him, is about logistics of “asking” in order to “receive”. Our conversations with Creator are conditional and about bargains we unilaterally strike, assuming divine complicity. We relentlessly attempt to influence and bind God with ‘offers He can't refuse’. Being judgemental, comes naturally to humans. But we forget that, it is only in rough weather that man looks to God for support, often questioning Him, “why me?” or “where are you?”.

To walk with God and seek answers, one has to achieve solitude. Solitude is not a distant destination.

Loneliness to Solitude

Compelled to stay indoors and helplessly watch events unfold, one is overwhelmed by uncertainties. When apprehensions actualise and fear of the unknown overwhelms, loneliness creeps in. That’s a choice we mistakenly make because we are unaware of the inseparable connect that we have with the divinity within. We can emerge stronger and better, if we decide to go for a walk on the beach with God.

For that to happen, we have to first look back at the two pairs of footprints that celebrated life and recognise the one that carried us through our trials and tribulations. Safe in His hands, nothing is impossible. The moment we truly attempt to recognise His presence, loneliness makes way for solitude.

Times are tough.

We have survived worse.

We will survive this too. Sun will rise again.

We just need to calm our minds.

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[1] Though we are accustomed to one version there are many versions of this poem.

[2] Though the author is marked as anonymous claim to authorship is heavily contested.